
                        The "C" Bible

 1:1  In the beginning Unix created the Kernel and the C.

 1:2  And the Kernel was without form and (void); and obscurity was on
      the face of the C.  And the spirit of Unix moved upon the face
      of the C.

 1:3  And Unix said, Let there be Code: and there was Code.

 1:4  And Unix saw the Code, that it was tight: and Unix divided the
      unstructured from the GOTO-less.

 1:5  And Unix called the Code compact, and the unstructured he called
      spaghetti.  And the Program and the Module were the first day.

 1:6  And Unix said, Let there be a ++ in the midst of the tightness,
      and let it divide the Variables from the Variables.

 1:7  And Unix made the Function, and divided the Variables which were
      inside the Function from the Variables which were outside the
      Function: and it was so.

 1:8  And Unix called the Function Recursive.  And the Program and the
      Module were the second day.

 1:9  And Unix said, Let the Variables in the Functions be gathered
      together unto one place, and let the Data Segment appear:
      and it was so.

 1:10 And Unix called the Data Segment Structure; and the gathering
      together of Variables he called the Heap: and Unix saw that it
      was good.

 1:11 And Unix said, Let the Structure bring forth Nulls, the Data to
      terminate, and the Data yielding Pointer after his kind, whose
      Pointer is in itself, upon the Structure: and it was so.

 1:12 And the Structure brought forth Nulls, and Pointers each after
      his kind: and Unix saw that it was good.

 1:13 And the Program and the Module were the third day.

 1:14 And the Nulls terminated the Data, so that each and every
      Function would therefore loop: and Unix saw that it was good.

 1:15 And Unix let them be for fat EXE files the Recursion of the
      Function to give coding upon the C: and it was so.

 1:16 And Unix made two great Functions: the GetCh to rule the In, and
      the PrintF to rule the Out: he made the many TO Functions also.

 1:17 And the Program and the Module were the fourth day.

 1:18 And Unix said, Let the Coding bring forth abundantly the Nested
      If creature that hath life, and the ability that it has to
      confuse and obfuscate, for a GOTO It has not.

 1:19 And Unix created great Whale Programs, and every Function that
      loopeth looking for the terminating Null, and every unclean
      workaround that inhabiteth the Programs: and Unix saw that it
      was good.

 1:20 And Unix blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply,
      and fill the Functions of the C, and let Code multiply in the
      Programs and fill the Hard Disk.

 1:21 And the Program and the Module were the fifth day.

 1:22 And Unix said, Let the Function bring forth the Recursive
      creature after his kind, Pointer and Nested If, and let him loop
      the Null after his kind: and it was so.

 1:23 And Unix made the Stream I/O after his kind, and every loop  that
      creepeth upon the face of the Hard Disk.  And Unix said, Let the
      File I/O be as slow as Interpreted Basic.

 1:24 And Unix said, Let us make Codes in our image, after our Kernel:
      and let them have Pointers over the Variables of the Heap, and
      over the Functions, and over the Null-finding loops, and over all
      the File I/O, and over every creeping Program that creepeth
      upon the Hard Disk.

 1:25 So Unix created C in his own image, in the image of Unix created
      he him; Small and Huge Model created he them.

 1:26 And Unix blessed them, and Unix said unto them, Be fruitful,
      and multiply, and replenish the Hard Disk, and subdue it: and have
      dominion over the Functions of the C, and over the Nulls of the
      Data, and over every looping thing that runneth upon the CPU.

 1:27 And Unix said, Behold, I have given you every Value bearing
      Function, which is upon the Recursion of the Nested If, and
      every Directory Tree, in which is the Pointer to a File
      yielding Data; to you it shall be for Terminating Nulls.

 1:28 And to every slow beast of the Hard Disk, and to every unreadable
      fowl of logic, and to every needless complexity that creepeth upon
      the Function wherein there is Null, I have given every Heap for
      the Data, and it was so.

 1:29 And Unix saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was
      very terse.  And the Program and the Module were the sixth day.

 2:1  Thus the Functions and the Heap were finished, and all the
      host of them, such that understanding came not.

 2:2  And on the seventh day Unix ended his work which he had coded
      and he rested on the seventh day from all his Kernel which
      he had coded.

 2:3  And Unix blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because
      in it he had rested from all his Coding which Unix had created
      and made.

