Flarble-garble.              Colin McEwan 1993
              
 Hello.

Time    : 20:21
Date    : 23 Aug 1993
Subject : Miscelaneous


        Ho-hum.I'm BORED! Yes my friends,that curse,nay PLAGUE, of life hath
spread it's fearsome wrath towards my poor,cowering little self,and,with one
fell movement of that hateful hand,plunged me into that most loathesome pit
of hell - S.A.D.
        Yes,folks. Up here in non-sunny Scotland,S.A.D.(or Seasonal
Affective Disorder) is a very common affliction. It just gets so depressing.
It's not just the rain. Rain is easy to live with. With rain you can just
let it all out. It's actually quite refresing (especially if you stand
outside in shorts and T-shirt and have a good yell,then just let it wash
over you...). It's just we never see any sun. It's just perpetually DULL.
Can you imagine the psychological effect of that? IT'S HORRIBLE. I DON'T
MIND THE COLD OR THE RAIN,IT'S JUST THE LACK OF LIGHT. I can handle winter.
I LOVE autumn.But summer is unbearable. This is August,and today it was just
so DULL. I can't stand it!  But I love autumn (sigh).Fine mists, hazy,
moist, evenings. Golden leaves crackling underfoot. Not too warm,not too
cold. I just have a completely immeasurable desire for autumn just
now.(another sigh).

        I'm listening to 252.I'm feeling a bit better now,as they've just
put Arrested Development on. Mr Wendel (or whatever it's called). Great
song. Bit old now,but I still love it. "Go ahead now,Mr Wendel...(Hey hey
hey hey! ),Mr Wendel." Yeah. (I'm sorry,but I have such a sad life you see).
Oh great! Urban Cookie Collective coming up too! (I've got the key! I've got
the Secret!) Odd video,but thoroughly catchy tune. I love music. I can
listen to ANY sort of music (except,possibly,Take That.) ( I understand that
by making this remark,I'll probably invoke a series of letter-bombs and
death threats,but at least I'll have SOMEBODY to write to,and a good reason
to complain. I like writing to people,so won't someone out there write to
me?).

                                NOTICE

        If anyone out there has any information on the subject of
small,single-man hovercraft (like,for example, where I can get hold of a
decent prop,and if there are any clubs or anything...and also
legislaton regarding operation and registration. I suppose I should
really contact the CAA for this.),then PLEASE GET IN TOUCH. Yes folks, I
happen to be a massive hover-craft fan (No pun intended),and my father and I
have an ambition to be the first people to operate a hovercraft on Loch
Lomond (We are excellently placed for this - Our house backs on to the river
Leven,which goes up for half a mile to the Loch). This'll really give the
jet-skiers something to stare at! (I hate Jet-skis...). We are currently
running through the design process,and the plan as it stands is something
like this:
        Main frame constructed from a 1.5x3ish m sheet of marine-ply, with a
rectangle roughly the size of the cockpit cut out and dropped about 0.5m,
with ply sides,forming a box (This will be sealed to ensure buoyancy,and
braced for strength).A motor-cycle engine will be used for power, (exactly
what sort,we're not sure yet.Plug here for Stuart MacIntyre and
Stuart,who'll be supplying the motor,and are also great friends of the
Guinea Pig's.) Probably air-cooled,driving a decent prop through the
motor's integral gear-box (no sense in not using it!). Large field-drain
pipes will be used to duct air round the under-side to even out pressure.The
skirt will be inflated by an adjustable duct which bleeds off pressure from
the main prop. Control will be via the aforementioned adjustable duct (for
fine lift/thrust control),and 2 large rudders at the back of the fan duct
(Throttle control is of course included!). What else? Oh yeah, The rudders
will be cabled to a steering wheel,in standard boat fashion. The actual
skirt will probably be some form of nylon,sewn and sealed. I imagine getting
components will probably invole large amounts of time hanging around motor
shops, boat shops, and air-ports (You can't get components at air-ports,but
that's where you find out where you CAN get them),as a hovercrat is really a
cross between a motorbike,a boat,and an aircraft. Most of the craft will be
self-built,but obviously some things must be commercially bought,for example
the prop,and motor.
        Maneouvering will be no problem - just run the motor slowly while in
the water,and you'll move without neccesarily hovering - just floating.
Great fun! first tests will of course be on land (we are also excellently
placed for this,as we live just next to a huge great big area of grass park
(The Dillichip park,or "Dilly").

        Now all of this reminds me of Saturday mornings ,early autumn, with
the LLARC (Loch Lomond Amateur Rowing Club). Out in the middle of the Loch,
the mists,the colours of the Ben,the silence,the stillness of the water...
And then some prat on a jet-ski cuts up the silence and the water and comes
racing past us,almost toppling the Moan (my boat. Short for Inchmoan. I
coxed the VOLA B-crew. Lovely boat.Sheet wood. Fast and light. We got this
because the A-crew used Clinkers for training,and the carbon-fibre boats for
racing.). I hate Jet-skis.
        There's the thing about the Loch - Jet-skis.I hate them. Noisy,and
what's more the sort of people who use them have just no respect. I
mean,okay if it's the middle of the day,but when it's evening or
morning,when all else is quiet and the whole scene is just wonderful and
silent,then the jet-skiers come and shatter the silence. I hate Them.Rowing
boats are okay,though. Silent. Well,not quite,but I couldn't think of
anything better to offset the scene - The swish of the oars brusing the
water as they are cocked,the slight creak of the row-locks, the splash of
the oars re-entering (although it is best to train oarsmen and women not to
splash on re-entry,as this is better technique.),and the clunk or the oar
being rotated back to the ready position. Ahhh...

 Oh,I'm bored. Can't wait for Wednesday,Mr Don and Mr George. Complete
bummer that Blossom is finished (and Roseanne,and all thoses other excellent
TV progs.)
        Hey Guess what! Our dog (Rory,a spaniel puppy) has just tried to eat
a HUGE spider! Not headline news I know,but funny. There are lots of spiders
down here in the valley,beside the river.
        And while I was off disposing of the rest of the spider,my sister
finised off my packet off crips for me. Huh.

         I can tell you don't want to read all this stuff.
        
        Do you know,I've NEVER seen The Prisoner. I get this feeling I'm
really missing out. Everyone seems to have seen it except me. there's a
whole cult (I like cult TV proggies and films and stuff. The Hitch-Hiker's
uide to the Galaxy,The Mary WhiteHouse Experience, Dirk Gently, Whose Line
is it Anyway?, the list goes on.) that I'm missing out on.
        I supose I'd better do some Hellos.
        
        Hello to :
 David Dennet (not nearly a thespian), Elaine McKechnie (What the hell did
you do to your hair?), Carolyn Docherty (you just don't have a scooby,do
you?), Icabod (You are not a free man,you are a number.), Craig Cosham (Buy
an A3010 ! And stop staring at Mary), Marshie (stop staring at Mally-Anne),
Shieldsie (stop staring at Mally-Anne), Gillian Bleach ("I've got a brand
new combine harvester" was actually by THE WURZELS,and not Tab Clear...),
Jonny Kelly (Shut up), Garry Haughton (How fast does a 50cc motorbike go? As
fast as you push it!), Catriona Cameron ("Well! Slap my thigh,Lots of jolly
banter coming forth now!"), Sharon Patterson (well done,you chose the right
computer!), and everyone else.

        That's about everyone. I can't wait 'till the Computer Depot get in
my copy of the Risc OS 3 Programmers Reference Manuals.
        I suppose I'd better go now. It's half-nine,so I'm going to have a
nice big mug of nice hot tea and go to bed. I suppose I might as well finish
with a quick list of all the things I really care about (in no particular
order at all):

        "Science is not a subject or an area - it is a way of looking at
things, a philisophy, an attitude, a dream..." - me 

        Tea, Coffee, my family, my computer, autumn, the past, good ties,
Blossom, my printer, chilli-con-carne, sleep, music, soup, [Douglas
Adams's,Rob Grant's and Doug Naylor's] books, Atlantic 252, Burn's Poetry
(Robert Burns was actually a direct ancestor of mine...), Radio 2, The Goon
Shows, hovercraft, science, and also MANY others.

        So I'm off to indulge in one of those right now - Tea. Bye-bye.

Addendum - 20 Sep 1993

        Well, I still haven't got my PRMs yet. But apparently, the Computer
Depot actually have them in stock now, so I'll get them this saturday
hopefully  :-)
