A Room in the Castle.
 Flourish.
 Enter KING and QUEEN, ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN, with OTHERS.

King	Welcome, dear Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
	Moreover that we much did long to see you,
	The need we have to use you did provoke
	Our hasty sending. Something have you heard
	Of Hamlet's transformation; so I call it,
	Since nor th' exterior nor the inward man
	Resembles that it was. What it should be,
	More than his father's death, that thus hath put him
	So much from th' understanding of himself,
	I cannot dream of. I entreat you both
	That, being of so young days brought up with him
	And since so neighboured to his youth and haviour,
	That you vouchsafe your rest here in our court
	Some little time, so by your companies
	To draw him on to pleasures, and to gather,
	So much as from occasion you may glean,
	Whether aught to us unknown afflicts him thus
	That, opened, lies within our remedy.

Queen	Good gentlemen, he hath much talked of you,
	And sure I am two men there is not living
	To whom he more adheres. If it will please you
	To show us so much gentry and good will
	As to expend your time with us a while
	For the supply and profit of our hope,
	Your visitation shall receive such thanks
	As fits a king's remembrance.

Rosencrantz										Both your majesties
	Might, by the sovereign power you have of us,
	Put your dread pleasures more into command
	Than to entreaty.

Guildenstern							But we both obey,
	And here give up ourselves, in the full bent,
	To lay our service freely at your feet
	To be commanded.

King	Thanks, Rosencrantz and gentle Guildenstern.

Queen	Thanks, Guildenstern and gentle Rosencrantz.
	And I beseech you instantly to visit
	My too much changd son. Go, some of you,
	And bring these gentlemen where Hamlet is.

Guildenstern	Heavens make our presence and our practices
	Pleasant and helpful to him!

Queen										Ay, amen!
		      [Exeunt ROSENCRANTZ, GUILDENSTERN, and some OTHERS.

                             Enter POLONIUS.

Polonius	Th' ambassadors from Norway, my good lord,
	Are joyfully returned.

King	Thou still hast been the father of good news.

Polonius	Have I, my lord? Assure you, my good liege,
	I hold my duty as I hold my soul,
	Both to my God and to my gracious king;
	And I do think, or else this brain of mine
	Hunts not the trail of policy so sure
	As it hath used to do, that I have found
	The very cause of Hamlet's lunacy.

King	O speak of that; that do I long to hear.

Polonius	Give first admittance to th' ambassadors;
	My news shall be the fruit to that great feast.

King	Thyself do grace to them, and bring them in.
												[Exit POLONIUS.
	He tells me, my dear Gertrude, he hath found
	The head and source of all your son's distemper.

Queen	I doubt it is no other but the main,
	His father's death and our o'erhasty marriage.

King	Well, we shall sift him.

             Re-enter POLONIUS, with VOLTEMAND and CORNELIUS.

								Welcome, my good friends.
	Say, Voltemand, what from our brother Norway?

Voltemand	Most fair return of greetings and desires.
	Upon our first he sent out to suppress
	His nephew's levies, which to him appeared
	To be a preparation 'gainst the Polack;
	But better looked into, he truly found
	It was against your highness; whereat grieved
	That so his sickness, age, and impotence
	Was falsely borne in hand, sends out arrests
	On Fortinbras, which he, in brief, obeys,
	Receives rebuke from Norway, and, in fine,
	Makes vow before his uncle never more
	To give th' assay of arms against your majesty.
	Whereon old Norway, overcome with joy,
	Gives him three thousand crowns in annual fee
	And his commission to employ those soldiers
	So levied as before, against the Polack,
	With an entreaty, herein further shown,
												[Giving a paper.
	That it might please you to give quiet pass
	Through your dominions for this enterprise,
	On such regards of safety and allowance
	As therein are set down.

King									It likes us well,
	And at our more considered time we'll read,
	Answer, and think upon this business.
	Meantime, we thank you for your well-took labour.
	Go to your rest, at night we'll feast together.
	Most welcome home.
								 [Exeunt VOLTEMAND and CORNELIUS.

Polonius						This business is well ended.
	My liege, and madam, to expostulate
	What majesty should be, what duty is,
	Why day is day, night night, and time is time,
	Were nothing but to waste night, day, and time.
	Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit,
	And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes,
	I will be brief. Your noble son is mad.
	Mad call I it, for, to define true madness,
	What is't but to be nothing else but mad?
	But let that go.

Queen						More matter with less art.

Polonius	Madam, I swear I use no art at all.
	That he is mad 'tis true; 'tis true 'tis pity,
	And pity 'tis 'tis true. A foolish figure;
	But farewell it, for I will use no art.
	Mad let us grant him then; and now remains
	That we find out the cause of this effect,
	Or rather say the cause of this defect,
	For this effect defective comes by cause.
	Thus it remains, and the remainder thus.
	Perpend.
	I have a daughter, have while she is mine,
	Who in her duty and obedience, mark,
	Hath given me this. Now gather and surmise.

	[Reads.]	"To the celestial and my soul's idol, the most 
			beautified Ophelia"-

	That's an ill phrase, a vile phrase, 'beautified' is a vile 
	phrase. But you shall hear-

				"These in her excellent white bosom, these".

Queen	Came this from Hamlet to her?

Polonius	Good madam, stay awhile, I will be faithful.

	[Reads.]"Doubt thou the stars are fire,
			Doubt that the sun doth move,
			Doubt truth to be a liar,
			But never doubt I love."

			"O dear Ophelia, I am ill at these numbers. I have 
			not art to reckon my groans; but that I love thee 
			best, O most best, believe it. Adieu.
					Thine evermore, most dear lady, whilst this 
			machine is to him,
										HAMLET."

	This in obedience hath my daughter shown me,
	And, more above, hath his solicitings,
	As they fell out by time, by means, and place,
	All given to mine ear.

King								But how hath she
	Received his love?

Polonius							What do you think of me?

King	As of a man faithful and honourable.

Polonius	I would fain prove so; but what might you think,
	When I had seen this hot love on the wing,
	As I perceived it, I must tell you that,
	Before my daughter told me, what might you,
	Or my dear majesty your queen here, think,
	If I had played the desk or table-book,
	Or given my heart a winking, mute and dumb,
	Or looked upon this love with idle sight,
	What might you think? No, I went round to work,
	And my young mistress thus I did bespeak:
	'Lord Hamlet is a prince out of thy star;
	This must not be'. And then I precepts gave her,
	That she should lock herself from his resort,
	Admit no messengers, receive no tokens;
	Which done, she took the fruits of my advice,
	And he, repelled - a short tale to make-
	Fell into a sadness, then into a fast,
	Thence to a watch, thence into a weakness,
	Thence to a lightness; and by this declension
	Into the madness wherein now he raves,
	And all we mourn for.

King							Do you think 'tis this?

Queen	It may be; very like.

Polonius	Hath there been such a time - I'd fain know that-
	That I have positively said "'Tis so"
	When it proved otherwise?

King									Not that I know.

Polonius	Take this from this [Indicating his head and shoulder.]
								if this be otherwise.
	If circumstances lead me, I will find
	Where truth is hid, though it were hid indeed
	Within the centre.

King							How may we try it further?

Polonius	You know sometimes he walks for hours together
	Here in the lobby.

Queen							So he does indeed.

Polonius	At such a time I'll loose my daughter to him.
	Be you and I behind an arras then;
	Mark the encounter. If he love her not,
	And be not from his reason fall'n thereon,
	Let me be no assistant for a state,
	But keep a farm and carters.

King										We will try it.

                      Enter HAMLET, reading a book.

Queen	But look, where sadly the poor wretch comes reading.

Polonius	Away, I do beseech you both, away.
	I'll board him presently. O, give me leave.
												[Exeunt KING and QUEEN.

	How does my good Lord Hamlet?

Hamlet	Well, God-a-mercy.

Polonius	Do you know me, my lord?

Hamlet	Excellent well, you are a fishmonger.

Polonius	Not I, my lord.

Hamlet	Then I would you were so honest a man.

Polonius	Honest, my lord?

Hamlet	Ay, sir; to be honest, as this world goes, is to be one man 
	picked out of ten thousand.

Polonius	That's very true, my lord.

Hamlet	For if the sun breed maggots in a dead dog, being a good 
	kissing carrion - Have you a daughter?

Polonius	I have, my lord.

Hamlet	Let her not walk i'th' sun. Conception is a blessing, but 
	as your daughter may conceive - friend, look to't.

Polonius	[Aside.] How say you by that? Still harping on my daughter. 
	Yet he knew me not at first, a' said I was a fishmonger. A' 
	is far gone, far gone; and truly, in my youth I suffered 
	much extremity for love; very near this. I'll speak to him 
	again. What do you read, my lord?

Hamlet	Words, words, words.

Polonius	What is the matter, my lord?

Hamlet	Between who?

Polonius	I mean, the matter that you read, my lord.

Hamlet	Slanders, sir; for the satirical rogue says here that old 
	men have grey beards, that their faces are wrinkled, their 
	eyes purging thick amber and plum-tree gum, and that they 
	have a plentiful lack of wit, together with most weak hams. 
	All which, sir, though I most powerfully and potently 
	believe, yet I hold it not honesty to have it thus set 
	down; for yourself, sir, shall be old as I am, if, like a 
	crab, you could go backward.

Polonius	[Aside.] Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
	[To HAMLET.] Will you walk out of the air, my lord?

Hamlet	Into my grave.

Polonius	Indeed, that's out of the air.
	[Aside.] How pregnant sometimes his replies are! A 
	happiness that often madness hits on, which reason and 
	sanity could not so prosperously be delivered of. I will 
	leave him, and suddenly contrive the means of meeting 
	between him and my daughter.
	[To HAMLET.] My lord, I will take my leave of you.

Hamlet	You cannot, sir, take from me anything that I will not more 
	willingly part withal-except my life, except my life, my 
	life.

Polonius	Fare you well, my lord.
												[Going.
Hamlet	These tedious old fools!

                  Re-enter ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN.

Polonius	You go to seek the Lord Hamlet; there he is.

Rosencrantz	[To POLONIUS.] God save you, sir.
												[Exit POLONIUS.

Guildenstern	Mine honoured lord!

Rosencrantz	My most dear lord!

Hamlet	My excellent good friends. How dost thou, Guildenstern? Ah, 
	Rosencrantz.-Good lads, how do you both?

Rosencrantz	As the indifferent children of the earth.

Guildenstern	Happy, in that we are not overhappy;
	On Fortune's cap we are not the very button.

Hamlet	Nor the soles of her shoe?

Rosencrantz	Neither, my lord.

Hamlet	Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of her 
	favours.

Guildenstern	Faith, her privates we.

Hamlet	In the secret parts of Fortune? O, most true, she is a 
	strumpet. What news?

Rosencrantz	None, my lord, but the world's grown honest.

Hamlet	Then is doomsday near. But your news is not true. Let me 
	question more in particular. What have you, my good 
	friends, deserved at the hands of Fortune, that she sends 
	you to prison hither?

Guildenstern	Prison, my lord?

Hamlet	Denmark's a prison.

Rosencrantz	Then is the world one.

Hamlet	A goodly one, in which there are many confines, wards, and 
	dungeons; Denmark being one o'th' worst.

Rosencrantz	We think not so, my lord.

Hamlet	Why, then 'tis none to you, for there is nothing either 
	good or bad but thinking makes it so. To me it is a prison.

Rosencrantz	Why, then your ambition makes it one; 'tis too narrow for 
	your mind.

Hamlet	O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a 
	king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams.

Guildenstern	Which dreams indeed are ambition; for the very substance of 
	the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream.

Hamlet	A dream itself is but a shadow.

Rosencrantz	Truly, and I hold ambition of so airy and light a quality 
	that it is but a shadow's shadow.

Hamlet	Then are our beggars bodies, and our monarchs and 
	outstretched heroes the beggars' shadows. Shall we to th' 
	court? For, by my fay, I cannot reason.

Rosencrantz &
Guildenstern	We'll wait upon you.

Hamlet	No such matter. I will not sort you with the rest of my 
	servants, for, to speak to you like an honest man, I am 
	most dreadfully attended. But, in the beaten way of 
	friendship, what make you at Elsinore?

Rosencrantz	To visit you, my lord; no other occasion.

Hamlet	Beggar that I am, I am even poor in thanks, but I thank 
	you; and sure, dear friends, my thanks are too dear a 
	halfpenny. Were you not sent for? Is it your own inclining? 
	Is it a free visitation? Come, come, deal justly with me. 
	Come, come. Nay, speak.

Guildenstern	What should we say, my lord?

Hamlet	Why, anything-but to th' purpose. You were sent for, and 
	there is a kind of confession in your looks which your 
	modesties have not craft enough to colour. I know the good 
	king and queen have sent for you.

Rosencrantz	To what end, my lord?

Hamlet	That you must teach me. But let me conjure you by the 
	rights of our fellowship, by the consonancy of our youth, 
	by the obligation of our ever-preserved love, and by what 
	more dear a better proposer could charge you withal, be 
	even and direct with me, whether you were sent for or no.

Rosencrantz	[Aside to GUILDENSTERN.] What say you?

Hamlet	[Aside.] Nay then, I have an eye of you. If you love me, 
	hold not off.

Guildenstern	My lord, we were sent for.

Hamlet	I will tell you why; so shall my anticipation prevent your 
	discovery, and your secrecy to the king and queen moult no 
	feather. I have of late - but wherefore I know not - lost 
	all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed 
	it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly 
	frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this 
	most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave 
	o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with 
	golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to me but a 
	foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What piece of 
	work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in 
	faculty, in form and moving how express and admirable, in 
	action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god -
	the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! And yet, 
	to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not 
	me, no, nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem 
	to say so.

Rosencrantz	My lord, there was no such stuff in my thoughts.

Hamlet	Why did ye laugh then, when I said 'man delights not me'?

Rosencrantz	To think, my lord, if you delight not in man what lenten 
	entertainment the players shall receive from you. We coted 
	them on the way; and hither are they coming to offer you 
	service.

Hamlet	He that plays the king shall be welcome; his majesty shall 
	have tribute of me; the adventurous knight shall use his 
	foil and target; the lover shall not sigh gratis; the 
	humorous man shall end his part in peace; the clown shall 
	make those laugh whose lungs are tickle a'th' sere; and the 
	lady shall say her mind freely, or the blank verse shall 
	halt for't. What players are they?

Rosencrantz	Even those you were wont to take such delight in, the 
	tragedians of the city.

Hamlet	How chances it they travel? Their residence, both in 
	reputation and profit, was better both ways.

Rosencrantz	I think their inhibition comes by the means of the late 
	innovation.

Hamlet	Do they hold the same estimation they did when I was in the 
	city? Are they so followed?

Rosencrantz	No, indeed, are they not.

Hamlet	How comes it? Do they grow rusty?

Rosencrantz	Nay, their endeavour keeps in the wonted pace; but there 
	is, sir, an eyrie of children, little eyases, that cry out 
	on the top of question and are most tyrannically clapped 
	for't. These are now the fashion, and so berattle the 
	common stages - so they call them - that many wearing 
	rapiers are afraid of goose-quills, and dare scarce come 
	thither.

Hamlet	What, are they children? Who maintains 'em? How are they 
	escoted? Will they pursue the quality no longer than they 
	can sing? Will they not say afterwards, if they should grow 
	themselves to common players - as it is most like, if their 
	means are no better - their writers do them wrong to make 
	them exclaim against their own succession?

Rosencrantz	Faith, there has been much to-do on both sides, and the 
	nation holds it no sin to tarre them to controversy. There 
	was for a while no money bid for argument unless the poet 
	and the player went to cuffs in the question.

Hamlet	Is't possible?

Guildenstern	O, there has been much throwing about of brains.

Hamlet	Do the boys carry it away?

Rosencrantz	Ay, that they do, my lord; Hercules and his load too.

Hamlet	It is not very strange; for my uncle is King of Denmark, 
	and those that would make mouths at him while my father 
	lived give twenty, forty, fifty, a hundred ducats apiece 
	for his picture in little. 'Sblood, there is something in 
	this more than natural, if philosophy could find it out.
									 [Flourish of trumpets within.

Guildenstern	There are the players.

Hamlet	Gentlemen, you are welcome to Elsinore. Your hands, come 
	then. The appurtenance of welcome is fashion and ceremony. 
	Let me comply with you in this garb, lest my extent to the 
	players, which, I tell you, must show fairly outward, 
	should more appear like entertainment than yours. You are 
	welcome. But my uncle-father and aunt-mother are deceived.

Guildenstern	In what, my dear lord?

Hamlet	I am but mad north-north-west; when the wind is southerly I 
	know a hawk from a handsaw.

                            Re-enter POLONIUS.

Polonius	Well be with you, gentlemen.

Hamlet	Hark you, Guildenstern, and you too - at each ear a hearer 
	- that great baby you see there is not yet out of his 
	swaddling clouts.

Rosencrantz	Haply he's the second time come to them, for they say an 
	old man is twice a child.

Hamlet	I will prophesy he comes to tell me of the players; mark 
	it. - You say right, sir, a' Monday morning; 'twas then 
	indeed.

Polonius	My lord, I have news to tell you.

Hamlet	My lord, I have news to tell you. When Roscius was an actor 
	in Rome-

Polonius	The actors are come hither, my lord.

Hamlet	Buzz, buzz.

Polonius	Upon my honour.

Hamlet	Then came each actor on his ass. 

Polonius	The best actors in the world, either for tragedy, comedy, 
	history, pastoral, pastoral-comical, historical-pastoral, 
	tragical-historical, tragical-comical-historical-pastoral, 
	scene individable, or poem unlimited. Seneca cannot be too 
	heavy, nor Plautus too light. For the law of writ and the 
	liberty, these are the only men.

Hamlet	O Jephthah, judge of Israel, what a treasure hadst thou!

Polonius	What a treasure had he, my lord?

Hamlet	Why,
			'One fair daughter, and no more,
			The which he lovd passing well'.

Polonius	[Aside.] Still on my daughter.

Hamlet	Am I not i'th' right, old Jephthah?

Polonius	If you call me Jephthah, my lord, I have a daughter that I 
	love passing well.

Hamlet	Nay, that follows not.

Polonius	What follows then, my lord?

Hamlet	Why,
			'As by lot, God wot,'

	and then you know,

			'It came to pass as most like it was'-

	The first row of the pious chanson will show you more, for 
	look where my abridgement comes.

                            Enter THE PLAYERS.

	You are welcome, masters, welcome all. I am glad to see 
	thee well. Welcome, good friends. O, my old friend! Thy 
	face is valanced since I saw thee last; com'st thou to 
	beard me in Denmark? What, my young lady and mistress! 
	By'rlady, your ladyship is nearer heaven than when I saw 
	you last by the altitude of a chopine. Pray God your voice, 
	like a piece of uncurrent gold, be not cracked within the 
	ring. Masters, you are all welcome. We'll e'en to't like 
	French falconers, fly at anything we see. We'll have a 
	speech straight. Come, give us a taste of your quality. 
	Come, a passionate speech.

1st Player	What speech, my good lord?

Hamlet	I heard thee speak me a speech once, but it was never 
	acted, or, if it was, not above once; for the play, I 
	remember, pleased not the million; 'twas caviare to the 
	general. But it was - as I received it, and others whose 
	judgements in such matters cried in the top of mine - an 
	excellent play, well digested in the scenes, set down with 
	as much modesty as cunning. I remember one said there were 
	no sallets in the lines to make the matter savoury, nor no 
	matter in the phrase that might indict the author of 
	affectation, but called it an honest method, as wholesome 
	as sweet, and by very much more handsome than fine. One 
	speech in it I chiefly loved - 'twas Aeneas' tale to Dido, 
	and thereabout of it especially when he speaks of Priam's 
	slaughter. If it live in your memory, begin at this line: - 
	let me see, let me see:

		"The rugged Pyrrhus, like th' Hyrcanian beast"-

	'tis not so; it begins with Pyrrhus-

		"The rugged Pyrrhus, he whose sable arms,
		Black as his purpose, did the night resemble
		When he lay couchd in the ominous horse,
		Hath now this dread and black complexion smeared
		With heraldry more dismal; head to foot
		Now is he total gules, horridly tricked
		With blood of fathers, mothers, daughters, sons,
		Baked and impasted with the parching streets,
		That lend a tyrannous and a damnd light
		To their lord's murder. Roasted in wrath and fire,
		And thus o'ersizd with coagulate gore,
		With eyes like carbuncles, the hellish Pyrrhus
		Old grandsire Priam seeks."

	So, proceed you.

Polonius	Fore God, my lord, well spoken, with good accent and good 
	discretion.

1st Player									"Anon he finds him
		Striking too short at Greeks; his antique sword,
		Rebellious to his arm, lies where it falls,
		Repugnant to command. Unequal matched,
		Pyrrhus at Priam drives, in rage strikes wide;
		But with the whiff and wind of his fell sword
		Th' unnervd father falls. Then senseless Ilium,
		Seeming to feel this blow, with flaming top
		Stoops to his base, and with a hideous crash
		Takes prisoner Pyrrhus' ear; for lo, his sword,
		Which was declining on the milky head
		Of reverend Priam, seemed i'th' air to stick;
		So, as a painted tyrant, Pyrrhus stood,
		And, like a neutral to his will and matter,
		Did nothing.
		But as we often see against some storm
		A silence in the heavens, the rack stand still,
		The bold winds speechless, and the orb below
		As hush as death, anon the dreadful thunder
		Doth rend the region; so, after Pyrrhus' pause,
		A rousd vengeance sets him new a-work;
		And never did the Cyclops' hammers fall
		On Mars's armour, forged for proof eterne,
		With less remorse than Pyrrhus' bleeding sword
		Now falls on Priam.
		Out, out, thou strumpet, Fortune! All you gods
		In general synod take away her power,
		Break all the spokes and fellies from her wheel,
		And bowl the round nave down the hill of heaven
		As low as to the fiends!"

Polonius	This is too long.

Hamlet	It shall to th' barber's, with your beard. Prithee say on. 
	He's for a jig or a tale of bawdry, or he sleeps. Say on, 
	come to Hecuba.

1st Player		"But who, O who had seen the mobled queen-"
	
Hamlet	'The mobled queen?'

Polonius	That's good, 'mobled queen' is good.

1st Player		"Run barefoot up and down, threat'ning the flames
		With bisson rheum, a clout upon that head
		Where late the diadem stood, and for a robe,
		About her lank and all o'erteemd loins,
		A blanket, in th' alarm of fear caught up:-
		Who this had seen, with tongue in venom steeped
		Gainst Fortune's state would treason have pronounced;
		But if the gods themselves did see her then,
		When she saw Pyrrhus make malicious sport
		In mincing with his sword her husband's limbs,
		The instant burst of clamour that she made,
		Unless things mortal move them not at all,
		Would have made milch the burning eyes of heaven,
		And passion in the gods."

Polonius	Look, whe'er he has not turned his colour, and has tears 
	in's eyes. Prithee no more.

Hamlet	'Tis well; I'll have thee speak out the rest of this soon. 
	[To POLONIUS.] Good my lord, will you see the players well 
	bestowed? Do you hear? - let them be well used, for they 
	are the abstract and brief chronicles of the time. After 
	your death you were better have a bad epitaph than their 
	ill report while you live.

Polonius	My lord, I will use them according to their desert.

Hamlet	God's bodykins, man, much better. Use every man after his 
	desert, and who should 'scape whipping? Use them after your 
	own honour and dignity; the less they deserve, the more 
	merit is in your bounty. Take them in.

Polonius	Come, sirs.
												[Exit.

Hamlet	Follow him, friends. We'll hear a play tomorrow.
	[To 1st PLAYER.] Dost thou hear me, old friend; can you 
	play the Murder of Gonzago?

1st Player	Ay, my lord.

Hamlet	We'll ha't tomorrow night. You could, for a need, study a 
	speech of some dozen or sixteen lines which I would set 
	down and insert in't, could you not?

1st Player	Ay, my lord.

Hamlet	Very well. Follow that lord, and look you mock him not.
												[Exeunt PLAYERS.
	My good friends, I'll leave you till night. You are welcome 
	to Elsinore.

Rosencrantz	Good my lord!
						   [Exeunt ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN.

Hamlet	Ay, so, God-buy to you. Now I am alone.
	O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I!
	Is it not monstrous that this player here,
	But in a fiction, in a dream of passion,
	Could force his soul so to his own conceit
	That from her working all this visage wanned,
	Tears in his eyes, distraction in's aspect,
	A broken voice, and his whole function suiting
	With forms to his conceit? And all for nothing!
	For Hecuba!
	What's Hecuba to him, or he to Hecuba,
	That he should weep for her? What would he do
	Had he the motive and the cue for passion
	That I have? He would drown the stage with tears
	And cleave the general ear with horrid speech,
	Make mad the guilty, and appal the free,
	Confound the ignorant, and amaze indeed
	The very faculties of eyes and ears. Yet I,
	A dull and muddy-mettled rascal, peak
	Like John-a-dreams, unpregnant of my cause,
	And can say nothing - no, not for a king
	Upon whose property and most dear life
	A damned defeat was made. Am I a coward?
	Who calls me villain, breaks my pate across,
	Plucks off my beard and blows it in my face,
	Tweaks me by th' nose, gives me the lie i'th' throat
	As deep as to the lungs? Who does me this?
	Ha! 'Swounds, I should take it; for it cannot be
	But I am pigeon-livered, and lack gall
	To make oppression bitter, or ere this
	I should-a fatted all the region kites
	With this slave's offal. Bloody, bawdy villain!
	Remorseless, treacherous, lecherous, kindless villain!
	O, vengeance!
	Why, what an ass am I! This is most brave,
	That I, the son of a dear father murdered,
	Prompted to my revenge by heaven and hell,
	Must like a whore unpack my heart with words,
	And fall a-cursing like a very drab,
	A scullion! Fie upon't! Foh!
	About, my brains. Hum, I have heard
	That guilty creatures sitting at a play
	Have, by the very cunning of the scene,
	Been struck so to the soul that presently
	They have proclaimed their malefactions;
	For murder, though it have no tongue, will speak
	With most miraculous organ. I'll have these players
	Play something like the murder of my father
	Before mine uncle. I'll observe his looks,
	I'll tent him to the quick. If he do blench,
	I know my course. The spirit that I have seen
	May be a devil, and the devil hath power
	T' assume a pleasing shape; yea, and perhaps
	Out of my weakness and my melancholy,
	As he is very potent with such spirits,
	Abuses me to damn me. I'll have grounds
	More relative than this. The play's the thing
	Wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king.
												[Exit.
