Rousillon. A Room in the Countess's Palace.
 Enter COUNTESS and CLOWN.

Countess	Come on, sir; I shall now put you to the height of your 
	breeding.

Clown	I will show myself highly fed and lowly taught. I know my 
	business is but to the court.

Countess	To the court! Why, what place make you special, when you 
	put off that with such contempt? 'But to the court!'

Clown	Truly, madam, if God have lent a man any manners he may 
	easily put it off at court. He that cannot make a leg, put 
	off's cap, kiss his hand, and say nothing, has neither leg, 
	hands, lip, nor cap; and indeed such a fellow, to say 
	precisely, were not for the court. But for me, I have an 
	answer will serve all men.

Countess	Marry, that's a bountiful answer that fits all questions.

Clown	It is like a barber's chair that fits all buttocks: the 
	pin-buttock, the quatch-buttock, the brawn-buttock, or any 
	buttock.

Countess	Will your answer serve fit to all questions?

Clown	As fit as ten groats is for the hand of an attorney, as 
	your French crown for your taffety punk, as Tib's rush for 
	Tom's forefinger, as a pancake for Shrove Tuesday, a morris 
	for May-day, as the nail to his hole, the cuckold to his 
	horn, as a scolding quean to a wrangling knave, as the 
	nun's lip to the friar's mouth; nay, as the pudding to his 
	skin.

Countess	Have you, I say, an answer of such fitness for all 
	questions?

Clown	From below your duke to beneath your constable, it will fit 
	any question.

Countess	It must be an answer of most monstrous size that must fit 
	all demands.

Clown	But a trifle neither, in good faith, if the learned should 
	speak truth of it. Here it is, and all that belongs to't. 
	Ask me if I am a courtier; it shall do you no harm to 
	learn.

Countess	To be young again, if we could! I will be a fool in 
	question, hoping to be the wiser by your answer. I pray 
	you, sir, are you a courtier?

Clown	O Lord, sir! There's a simple putting off. More, more, a 
	hundred of them.

Countess	Sir, I am a poor friend of yours that loves you.

Clown	O Lord, sir! Thick, thick, spare not me.

Countess	I think, sir, you can eat none of this homely meat.

Clown	O Lord, sir! Nay, put me to't, I warrant you.

Countess	You were lately whipped, sir, as I think.

Clown	O Lord, sir! Spare not me.

Countess	Do you cry 'O Lord, sir!' at your whipping, and 'spare not 
	me'? Indeed, your 'O Lord, sir!' is very sequent to your 
	whipping: you would answer very well to a whipping, if you 
	were but bound to't.

Clown	I ne'er had worse luck in my life in my 'O Lord, sir!' I 
	see things may serve long, but not serve ever.

Countess	I play the noble housewife with the time,
	To entertain it so merrily with a fool.

Clown	O Lord, sir! Why, there't serves well again.

Countess	An end, sir! To your business. Give Helen this,
	And urge her to a present answer back.
	Commend me to my kinsmen and my son.
	This is not much.

Clown	Not much commendation to them?

Countess	Not much employment for you. You understand me?

Clown	Most fruitfully. I am there before my legs.

Countess	Haste you again.
												[Exeunt.
