Scene 2. Troy. A Street.
 Enter CRESSIDA and her man ALEXANDER.

Cressida	Who were those went by?

Alexander							Queen Hecuba and Helen.

Cressida	And whither go they?

Alexander							Up to the eastern tower,
	Whose height commands as subject all the vale,
	To see the battle. Hector, whose patience
	Is as a virtue fixed, today was moved:
	He chid Andromache and struck his armourer;
	And, like as there were husbandry in war,
	Before the sun rose he was harnessed light,
	And to the field goes he, where every flower
	Did as a prophet weep what it foresaw
	In Hector's wrath.

Cressida						What was his cause of anger?

Alexander	The noise goes this: there is among the Greeks
	A lord of Trojan blood, nephew to Hector;
	They call him Ajax.

Cressida							Good; and what of him?

Alexander	They say he is a very man per se,
	And stands alone.

Cressida	So do all men, unless they are drunk, sick, or have no legs.

Alexander	This man, lady, hath robbed many beasts of their particular 
	additions: he is as valiant as the lion, churlish as the 
	bear, slow as the elephant; a man into whom nature hath so 
	crowded humours that his valour is crushed into folly, his 
	folly sauced with discretion. There is no man hath a virtue 
	that he hath not a glimpse of, nor any man an attaint but he 
	carries some stain of it. He is melancholy without cause, 
	and merry against the hair; he hath the joints of every 
	thing, but everything so out of joint that he is a gouty 
	Briareus, many hands and no use, or purblind Argus, all eyes 
	and no sight.

Cressida	But how should this man that makes me smile make Hector 
	angry?

Alexander	They say he yesterday coped Hector in the battle and struck 
	him down, the disdain and shame whereof hath ever since kept 
	Hector fasting and waking.

                             Enter PANDARUS.

Cressida	Who comes here?

Alexander	Madam, your uncle Pandarus.

Cressida	Hector's a gallant man.

Alexander	As may be in the world, lady.

Pandarus	What's that? What's that?

Cressida	Good morrow, uncle Pandarus.

Pandarus	Good morrow, cousin Cressid. What do you talk of? Good 
	morrow, Alexander. How do you, cousin? When were you at 
	Ilium?

Cressida	This morning, uncle.

Pandarus	What were you talking of when I came? Was Hector armed and 
	gone ere ye came to Ilium? Helen was not up, was she?

Cressida	Hector was gone but Helen was not up?

Pandarus	E'en so. Hector was stirring early.

Cressida	That were we talking of, and of his anger.

Pandarus	Was he angry?

Cressida	So he says here.

Pandarus	True, he was so; I know the cause too. He'll lay about him 
	today, I can tell them that; and there's Troilus will not 
	come far behind him. Let them take heed of Troilus, I can 
	tell them that too.

Cressida	What, is he angry too?

Pandarus	Who, Troilus? Troilus is the better man of the two.

Cressida	O Jupiter! - there's no comparison.

Pandarus	What, not between Troilus and Hector? Do you know a man if 
	you see him?

Cressida	Ay, if I ever saw him before and knew him.

Pandarus	Well, I say Troilus is Troilus.

Cressida	Then you say as I say; for I am sure he is not Hector.

Pandarus	No, nor Hector is not Troilus in some degrees.

Cressida	'Tis just to each of them - he is himself.

Pandarus	Himself? Alas poor Troilus, I would he were.

Cressida	So he is.

Pandarus	Condition I had gone barefoot to India.

Cressida	He is not Hector.

Pandarus	Himself? No, he's not himself. Would a' were himself! Well, 
	the gods are above; time must friend or end. Well, Troilus, 
	well, I would my heart were in her body. No, Hector is not a 
	better man than Troilus.

Cressida	Excuse me.

Pandarus	He is elder.

Cressida	Pardon me, pardon me.

Pandarus	Th'other's not come to't; you shall tell me another tale 
	when th'other's come to't. Hector shall not have his will 
	this year.

Cressida	He shall not need it if he have his own.

Pandarus	Nor his qualities.

Cressida	No matter.

Pandarus	Nor his beauty.

Cressida	'Twould not become him; his own's better.

Pandarus	You have no judgement, niece. Helen herself swore th'other 
	day that Troilus for a brown favour - for so 'tis, I must 
	confess - not brown neither-

Cressida	No, but brown.

Pandarus	Faith, to say truth, brown and not brown.

Cressida	To say the truth, true and not true.

Pandarus	She praised his complexion above Paris'.

Cressida	Why, Paris hath colour enough.

Pandarus	So he has.

Cressida	Then Troilus should have too much. If she praised him above, 
	his complexion is higher than his - he having colour enough, 
	and the other higher, is too flaming a praise for a good 
	complexion. I had as lief Helen's golden tongue had 
	commended Troilus for a copper nose.

Pandarus	I swear to you, I think Helen loves him better than Paris.

Cressida	Then she's a merry Greek indeed.

Pandarus	Nay, I am sure she does. She came to him th'other day into 
	the compassed window, and you know he has not past three or 
	four hairs on his chin-

Cressida	Indeed, a tapster's arithmetic may soon bring his 
	particulars therein to a total.

Pandarus	Why, he is very young; and yet will he within three pound 
	lift as much as his brother Hector.

Cressida	Is he so young a man, and so old a lifter?

Pandarus	But to prove to you that Helen loves him, she came and puts 
	me her white hand to his cloven chin.

Cressida	Juno have mercy, how came it cloven?

Pandarus	Why, you know 'tis dimpled - I think his smiling becomes him 
	better than any man in all Phrygia.

Cressida	O he smiles valiantly.

Pandarus	Does he not?

Cressida	O yes, and 'twere a cloud in autumn.

Pandarus	Why, go to then. But to prove to you that Helen loves 
	Troilus-

Cressida	Troilus will stand to the proof if you'll prove it so.

Pandarus	Troilus? - why, he esteems her no more than I esteem an 
	addle egg.

Cressida	If you love an addle egg as well as you love an idle head, 
	you would eat chickens i'th' shell.

Pandarus	I cannot choose but laugh to think how she tickled his chin. 
	Indeed, she has a marvellous white hand, I must needs 
	confess-

Cressida	Without the rack.

Pandarus	And she takes upon her to spy a white hair on his chin.

Cressida	Alas, poor chin! Many a wart is richer.

Pandarus	But there was such laughing! Queen Hecuba laughed that her 
	eyes ran o'er-

Cressida	With millstones.

Pandarus	And Cassandra laughed-

Cressida	But there was a more temperate fire under the pot of her 
	eyes. Did her eyes run o'er too?

Pandarus	And Hector laughed.

Cressida	At what was all this laughing?

Pandarus	Marry, at the white hair that Helen spied on Troilus' chin.

Cressida	And't had been a green hair, I should have laughed too.

Pandarus	They laughed not so much at the hair as at his pretty 
	answer.

Cressida	What was his answer?

Pandarus	Quoth she: "Here's but two-and-fifty hairs on your chin, and 
	one of them is white".

Cressida	This is her question?

Pandarus	That's true, make no question of that. "Two-and-fifty hairs" 
	quoth he "and one white: - that white hair is my father, and 
	all the rest are his sons." - "Jupiter," quoth she "which of 
	these hairs is Paris my husband?" "The forked one;" quoth he 
	"pluck't out and give it him." But there was such laughing, 
	and Helen so blushed, and Paris so chafed, and all the rest 
	so laughed, that it passed.

Cressida	So let it now, for it has been a great while going by.

Pandarus	Well, cousin, I told you a thing yesterday. Think on't.

Cressida	So I do.

Pandarus	I'll be sworn 'tis true: he will weep you an 'twere a man 
	born in April.

Cressida	And I'll spring up in his tears an 'twere a nettle against 
	May.
												[Sound a retreat.

Pandarus	Hark, they are coming from the field. Shall we stand up here 
	and see them as they pass toward Ilium? Good niece, do, 
	sweet niece Cressida.

Cressida	At your pleasure.

Pandarus	Here, here, here's an excellent place; here we may see most 
	bravely. I'll tell you them all by their names as they pass 
	by; but mark Troilus above the rest.

                 Enter AENEAS, and passes over the stage.

Cressida	Speak not so loud.

Pandarus	That's Aeneas. Is not that a brave man? He's one of the 
	flowers of Troy, I can tell you; but mark Troilus, you shall 
	see anon.

                Enter ANTENOR, and passes over the stage.

Cressida	Who's that?

Pandarus	That's Antenor. He has a shrewd wit, I can tell you, and 
	he's a man good enough; he's one o'th' soundest judgement in 
	Troy whosoever, and a proper man of person. When comes 
	Troilus? I'll show you Troilus anon; if he see me, you shall 
	see him nod at me.

Cressida	Will he give you the nod?

Pandarus	You shall see.

Cressida	If he do, the rich shall have more.

                 Enter HECTOR, and passes over the stage.

Pandarus	That's Hector, that, that, look you - that there's a fellow! 
	- Go thy way, Hector! - There's a brave man, niece. O brave 
	Hector! Look how he looks - there's a countenance! Is't not 
	a brave man?

Cressida	O, a brave man.

Pandarus	Is a' not? It does a man's heart good. Look you what hacks 
	are on his helmet! - look you yonder, do you see? Look you 
	there - there's no jesting: there's laying on, take't off 
	who will, as they say. There be hacks.

Cressida	Be those with swords?

Pandarus	Swords, anything, he cares not; and the devil come to him, 
	it's all one. By God's lid it does one's heart good.

                 Enter PARIS, and passes over the stage.

	Yonder comes Paris, yonder comes Paris. Look ye yonder, 
	niece, is't not a gallant man too, is't not? Why, this is 
	brave now: who said he came hurt home today? He's not hurt. 
	Why, this will do Helen's heart good now, ha? Would I could 
	see Troilus now! You shall see Troilus anon.

                Enter HELENUS, and passes over the stage.

Cressida	Who's that?

Pandarus	That's Helenus - I marvel where Troilus is - That's Helenus 
	-  I think he went not forth today - That's Helenus.

Cressida	Can Helenus fight, uncle?

Pandarus	Helenus? - no; yes, he'll fight indifferent well. I marvel 
	where Troilus is. Hark, do you not hear the people cry 
	"Troilus"? Helenus is a priest.

Cressida	What sneaking fellow comes yonder?

                Enter TROILUS, and passes over the stage.

Pandarus	Where? Yonder? That's Deiphobus. - 'Tis Troilus! There's a 
	man, niece - hem? Brave Troilus, the prince of chivalry!

Cressida	Peace; for shame, peace!

Pandarus	Mark him, note him. O brave Troilus! Look well upon him, 
	niece; look you how his sword is bloodied and his helm more 
	hacked than Hector's; and how he looks, and how he goes. O 
	admirable youth! He ne'er saw three-and-twenty. - Go thy 
	way, Troilus, go thy way! - Had I a sister were a grace, or 
	a daughter a goddess, he should take his choice. O admirable 
	man! Paris? Paris is dirt to him, and, I warrant, Helen to 
	change would give an eye to boot.

             Enter Common SOLDIERS, and pass over the stage.

Cressida	Here come more.

Pandarus	Asses, fools, dolts; chaff and bran, chaff and bran; 
	porridge after meat. I could live and die i'th' eyes of 
	Troilus. Ne'er look, ne'er look, the eagles are gone - crows 
	and daws, crows and daws. I had rather be such a man as 
	Troilus than Agamemnon and all Greece.

Cressida	There is among the Greeks Achilles, a better man than 
	Troilus.

Pandarus	Achilles? - a drayman, a porter, a very camel.

Cressida	Well, well.

Pandarus	Well, well? Why, have you any discretion? Have you any eyes? 
	Do you know what a man is? Is not birth, beauty, good shape, 
	discourse, manhood, learning, gentleness, virtue, youth, 
	liberality, and so forth, the spice and salt that seasons a 
	man?

Cressida	Ay, a minced man - and then to be baked with no date in the 
	pie, for then the man's date's out.

Pandarus	You are such a woman, a man knows not at what ward you lie.

Cressida	Upon my back to defend my belly, upon my wit to defend my 
	wiles, upon my secrecy to defend mine honesty, my mask to 
	defend my beauty, and you to defend all these; and at all 
	these wards I lie at a thousand watches.

Pandarus	Say one of your watches.

Cressida	Nay, I'll watch you for that; and that's one of the chiefest 
	of them too. If I cannot ward what I would not have hit, I 
	can watch you for telling how I took the blow; unless it 
	swell past hiding, and then it's past watching.

                           Enter Troilus' BOY.

Pandarus	You are such another!

Boy	Sir, my lord would instantly speak with you.

Pandarus	Where?

Boy	At your own house; there he unarms him.

Pandarus	Good boy, tell him I come.
												[Exit BOY.
	I doubt he be hurt. Fare ye well, good niece.

Cressida	Adieu, uncle.

Pandarus	I'll be with you, niece, by and by.

Cressida	To bring, uncle?

Pandarus	Ay, a token from Troilus.
												[Exit PANDARUS.
Cressida	By the same token, you are a bawd.
	Words, vows, gifts, tears, and love's full sacrifice
	He offers in another's enterprise;
	But more in Troilus thousandfold I see
	Than in the glass of Pandar's praise may be;
	Yet hold I off. Women are angels, wooing;
	Things won are done - joy's soul lies in the doing.
	That she beloved knows nought that knows not this:
	Men price the thing ungained more than it is.
	That she was never yet that ever knew
	Love got so sweet as when desire did sue;
	Therefore this maxim out of love I teach:
	Achievement is command; ungained, beseech.
	Then though my heart's content firm love doth bear,
	Nothing of that shall from mine eyes appear.
												[Exit.
