Olivia's Garden.
 Enter OLIVIA and MARIA.

Olivia	[Aside.] I have sent after him, he says he'll come.
	How shall I feast him? What bestow of him?
	For youth is bought more oft than begged or borrowed.
	I speak too loud.
	[To MARIA.] Where's Malvolio? He is sad and civil,
	And suits well for a servant with my fortunes.
	Where is Malvolio?

Maria	He's coming, madam, but in very strange manner. He is sure 
	possessed, madam.

Olivia	Why, what's the matter? Does he rave?

Maria	No, madam, he does nothing but smile. Your ladyship were 
	best to have some guard about you if he come, for sure the 
	man is tainted in's wits.

Olivia	Go call him hither.
														[Exit MARIA.
							I am as mad as he,
	If sad and merry madness equal be.

                      Re-enter MARIA with MALVOLIO.

	How now, Malvolio!

Malvolio	Sweet lady, ho, ho.

Olivia	Smil'st thou? I sent for thee upon a sad occasion.

Malvolio	Sad, lady? I could be sad: this does make some obstruction 
	in the blood, this cross-gartering, but what of that? If it 
	please the eye of one, it is with me as the very true sonnet 
	is: "Please one and please all".

Olivia	Why, how dost thou, man? What is the matter with thee?

Malvolio	Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs. It did come 
	to his hands, and commands shall be executed. I think we do 
	know the sweet Roman hand.

Olivia	Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio?

Malvolio	To bed? Ay, sweetheart, and I'll come to thee.

Olivia	God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so and kiss thy hand 
	so oft?

Maria	How do you, Malvolio?

Malvolio	At your request? Yes, nightingales answer daws.

Maria	Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness before my lady?

Malvolio	"Be not afraid of greatness" - 'twas well writ.

Olivia	What mean'st thou by that, Malvolio?

Malvolio	"Some are born great"-

Olivia	Ha?

Malvolio	"Some achieve greatness"-

Olivia	What sayst thou?

Malvolio	"And some have greatness thrust upon them."

Olivia	Heaven restore thee!

Malvolio	"Remember who commended thy yellow stockings."

Olivia	Thy yellow stockings?

Malvolio	"And wished to see thee cross-gartered."

Olivia	Cross-gartered?

Malvolio	"Go to, thou art made if thou desir'st to be so."

Olivia	Am I made?

Malvolio	"If not, let me see thee a servant still."

Olivia	Why, this is very midsummer madness.

                              Enter SERVANT.

Servant	Madam, the young gentleman of the Count Orsino's is 
	returned; I could hardly entreat him back. He attends your 
	ladyship's pleasure.

Olivia	I'll come to him.
														[Exit SERVANT.

	Good Maria, let this fellow be looked to - where's my cousin 
	Toby? - let some of my people have a special care of him. I 
	would not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry.
														[Exeunt OLIVIA and MARIA.

Malvolio	O ho, do you come near me now? No worse man than Sir Toby to 
	look to me! This concurs directly with the letter. She sends 
	him on purpose that I may appear stubborn to him, for she 
	incites me to that in the letter. "Cast thy humble slough," 
	says she; "be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants; 
	let thy tongue tang arguments of state; put thyself into the 
	trick of singularity"; and consequently sets down the manner 
	how, as: a sad face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in 
	the habit of some sir of note, and so forth. I have limed 
	her; but it is Jove's doing, and Jove make me thankful. And 
	when she went away now, "Let this fellow be looked to" 
	'Fellow' not 'Malvolio', nor after my degree, but 'fellow'. 
	Why, everything adheres together that no dram of a scruple, 
	no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or 
	unsafe circumstance - what can be said? Nothing that can be 
	can come between me and the full prospect of my hopes. Well, 
	Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked.

             Re-enter MARIA, with SIR TOBY BELCH, and FABIAN.

Sir Toby	Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? If all the devils 
	of hell be drawn in little, and Legion himself possessed 
	him, yet I'll speak to him.

Fabian	Here he is, here he is. How is't with you, sir? How is't 
	with you, man?

Malvolio	Go off. I discard you. Let me enjoy my private. Go off.

Maria	Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! - did not I tell 
	you? Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a care of him.

Malvolio	Ah ha! - does she so?

Sir Toby	Go to, go to. Peace, peace; we must deal gently with him. 
	Let me alone. How do you, Malvolio? How is't with you? What, 
	man, defy the devil. Consider, he's an enemy to mankind.

Malvolio	Do you know what you say?

Maria	La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how he takes it at 
	heart. Pray God he be not bewitched.

Fabian	Carry his water to th' wise woman.

Maria	Marry, and it shall be done tomorrow morning, if I live. My 
	lady would not lose him for more than I'll say.

Malvolio	How now, mistress?

Maria	O Lord!

Sir Toby	Prithee hold thy peace; this is not the way. Do you not see 
	you move him? Let me alone with him.

Fabian	No way but gentleness; gently, gently. The fiend is rough, 
	and will not be roughly used.

Sir Toby	Why, how now, my bawcock! How dost thou, chuck?

Malvolio	Sir!

Sir Toby	Ay, biddy, come with me. What, man, 'tis not for gravity to 
	play at cherry-pit with Satan. Hang him, foul collier!

Maria	Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby, get him to pray.

Malvolio	My prayers, minx!

Maria	No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness.

Malvolio	Go hang yourselves all! You are idle, shallow things, I am 
	not of your element. You shall know more hereafter.
														[Exit.
Sir Toby	Is't possible?

Fabian	If this were played upon a stage now, I could condemn it as 
	an improbable fiction.

Sir Toby	His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man.

Maria	Nay, pursue him now, lest the device take air, and taint.

Fabian	Why, we shall make him mad indeed.

Maria	The house will be the quieter.

Sir Toby	Come, we'll have him in a dark room and bound. My niece is 
	already in the belief that he's mad. We may carry it thus 
	for our pleasure, and his penance, till our very pastime, 
	tired out of breath, prompt us to have mercy on him; at 
	which time we will bring the device to the bar and crown 
	thee for a finder of madmen. But see, but see.

                       Enter SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK.

Fabian	More matter for a May morning.

Sir Andrew	Here's the challenge, read it. I warrant there's vinegar and 
	pepper in't.

Fabian	Is't so saucy?

Sir Andrew	Ay, is't, I warrant him. Do but read.

Sir Toby	Give me.
	[Reads.]	"Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy 
	fellow."

Fabian	Good, and valiant.

Sir Toby	[Reads.]	"Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why I do 
	call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for't."

Fabian	A good note, that keeps you from the blow of the law.

Sir Toby	[Reads.]	"Thou com'st to the Lady Olivia, and in my sight 
	she uses thee kindly; but thou liest in thy throat; that is 
	not the matter I challenge thee for."

Fabian	Very brief, and to exceeding good sense [Aside.] -less.

Sir Toby	[Reads.]	"I will waylay thee going home; where, if it be thy 
	chance to kill me,"-

Fabian	Good.

Sir Toby	[Reads.]	" - thou kill'st me like a rogue and a villain."

Fabian	Still you keep o'th' windy side of the law; good.

Sir Toby	[Reads.]	"Fare thee well; and God have mercy upon one of our 
	souls! He may have mercy upon mine, but my hope is better, 
	and so look to thyself.
	Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy,
											ANDREW AGUECHEEK."

	If this letter move him not, his legs cannot. I'll give't 
	him.

Maria	You may have very fit occasion for't; he is now in some 
	commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart.

Sir Toby	Go, Sir Andrew. Scout me for him at the corner of the 
	orchard like a bum-baily. So soon as ever thou seest him, 
	draw, and as thou draw'st, swear horrible; for it comes to 
	pass oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent 
	sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than 
	ever proof itself would have earned him. Away!

Sir Andrew	Nay, let me alone for swearing.
														[Exit.

Sir Toby	Now will not I deliver his letter, for the behaviour of the 
	young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and 
	breeding; his employment between his lord and my niece 
	confirms no less. Therefore this letter, being so 
	excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth. He 
	will find it comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I will deliver 
	his challenge by word of mouth, set upon Aguecheek a notable 
	report of valour, and drive the gentleman - as I know his 
	youth will aptly receive it - into a most hideous opinion of 
	his rage, skill, fury, and impetuosity. This will so fright 
	them both that they will kill one another by the look, like 
	cockatrices.

                  Re-enter OLIVIA with VIOLA as Cesario.

Fabian	Here he comes with your niece. Give them way till he take 
	leave, and presently after him.

Sir Toby	I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a 
	challenge.
								  [Exeunt SIR TOBY, FABIAN and MARIA.

Olivia	I have said too much unto a heart of stone,
	And laid mine honour too unchary on't.
	There's something in me that reproves my fault;
	But such a headstrong potent fault it is
	That it but mocks reproof.

Viola	With the same haviour that your passion bears
	Goes on my master's griefs.

Olivia	Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture.
	Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex you;
	And I beseech you come again tomorrow.
	What shall you ask of me that I'll deny,
	That honour saved may upon asking give?

Viola	Nothing but this: your true love for my master.

Olivia	How with mine honour may I give him that
	Which I have given to you?

Viola								I will acquit you.

Olivia	Well, come again tomorrow. Fare thee well;
	A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell.
														[Exit.
                      Re-enter SIR TOBY and FABIAN.

Sir Toby	Gentleman, God save thee.

Viola	And you, sir.

Sir Toby	That defence thou hast, betake thee to't. Of what nature the 
	wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not, but thy 
	intercepter, full of despite, bloody as the hunter, attends 
	thee at the orchard-end. Dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy 
	preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and 
	deadly.

Viola	You mistake, sir; I am sure no man hath any quarrel to me. 
	My remembrance is very free and clear from any image of 
	offence done to any man.

Sir Toby	You'll find it otherwise, I assure you. Therefore, if you 
	hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for 
	your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill, and 
	wrath, can furnish man withal.

Viola	I pray you, sir, what is he?

Sir Toby	He is knight dubbed with unhatched rapier and on carpet 
	consideration, but he is a devil in private brawl. Souls and 
	bodies hath he divorced three, and his incensement at this 
	moment is so implacable that satisfaction can be none but by 
	pangs of death and sepulchre. "Hob, nob" is his word; give't 
	or take't.

Viola	I will return again into the house and desire some conduct 
	of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of some kind of 
	men that put quarrels purposely on others to taste their 
	valour. Belike this is a man of that quirk.

Sir Toby	Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a very 
	competent injury; therefore get you on and give him his 
	desire. Back you shall not to the house unless you undertake 
	that with me which with as much safety you might answer him. 
	Therefore on, or strip your sword stark naked; for meddle 
	you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron about 
	you.

Viola	This is as uncivil as strange. I beseech you do me this 
	courteous office, as to know of the knight what my offence 
	to him is: it is something of my negligence, nothing of my 
	purpose.

Sir Toby	I will do so. Signor Fabian, stay you by this gentleman till 
	my return.
														[Exit.
Viola	Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter?

Fabian	I know the knight is incensed against you, even to a mortal 
	arbitrement, but nothing of the circumstance more.

Viola	I beseech you, what manner of man is he?

Fabian	Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form, 
	as you are like to find him in the proof of his valour. He 
	is indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite 
	that you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria. 
	Will you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him 
	if I can.

Viola	I shall be much bound to you for't. I am one that had rather 
	go with sir priest than sir knight. I care not who knows so 
	much of my mettle.
														[Exeunt.
            Re-enter SIR TOBY BELCH with SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK.

Sir Toby	Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seen such a firago. 
	I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard, and all, and he 
	gives me the stuck-in with such a mortal motion that it is 
	inevitable; and on the answer he pays you as surely as your 
	feet hits the ground they step on. They say he has been 
	fencer to the Sophy.

Sir Andrew	Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him.

Sir Toby	Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian can scarce hold 
	him yonder.

Sir Andrew	Plague on't; an I thought he had been valiant and so cunning 
	in fence I'd have seen him damned ere I'd have challenged 
	him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my 
	horse, grey Capilet.

Sir Toby	I'll make the motion. Stand here, make a good show on't. 
	This shall end without the perdition of souls. [Aside.] 
	Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you.

                        Re-enter FABIAN and VIOLA.

	[Aside to FABIAN.] I have his horse to take up the quarrel. 
	I have persuaded him the youth's a devil.

Fabian	[Aside to SIR TOBY.] He is as horribly conceited of him, and 
	pants and looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels.

Sir Toby	[To VIOLA.] There's no remedy, sir; he will fight with you 
	for's oath sake. Marry, he hath better bethought him of his 
	quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking 
	of. Therefore draw for the supportance of his vow; he 
	protests he will not hurt you.

Viola	[Aside.] Pray God defend me! A little thing would make me 
	tell them how much I lack of a man.

Fabian	[Aside to SIR ANDREW.] Give ground if you see him furious.

Sir Toby	Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will for 
	his honour's sake have one bout with you; he cannot by the 
	duello avoid it; but he has promised me, as he is a 
	gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on, 
	to't.

Sir Andrew	[Drawing.] Pray God he keep his oath!

                              Enter ANTONIO.

Viola	[Drawing.] I do assure you 'tis against my will.

Antonio	Put up your sword. If this young gentleman
	Have done offence, I take the fault on me;
	If you offend him, I for him defy you.

Sir Toby	You, sir? - why, what are you?

Antonio	[Drawing.] One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more
	Than you have heard him brag to you he will.

Sir Toby	[Drawing.] Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you.

                           Enter TWO OFFICERS.

Fabian	O good Sir Toby, hold! Here come the officers.

Sir Toby	[To ANTONIO.] I'll be with you anon.

Viola	[To SIR ANDREW.] Pray, sir, put your sword up, if you 
	please.

Sir Andrew	Marry will I, sir; and for that I promised you, I'll be as 
	good as my word. He will bear you easily, and reins well.

1st Officer	This is the man; do thy office.

2nd Officer	Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit
	Of Count Orsino.

Antonio					You do mistake me, sir.

1st Officer	No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well,
	Though now you have no sea-cap on your head.
	Take him away; he knows I know him well.

Antonio	I must obey. [To VIOLA.] This comes with seeking you.
	But there's no remedy; I shall answer it.
	What will you do now my necessity
	Makes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me
	Much more for what I cannot do for you
	Than what befalls myself. You stand amazed;
	But be of comfort.

2nd Officer	Come, sir, away.

Antonio	I must entreat of you some of that money.

Viola	What money, sir?
	For the fair kindness you have showed me here,
	And part being prompted by your present trouble,
	Out of my lean and low ability
	I'll lend you something. My having is not much;
	I'll make division of my present with you.
	Hold, there's half my coffer.

Antonio									Will you deny me now?
	Is't possible that my deserts to you
	Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery,
	Lest that it make me so unsound a man
	As to upbraid you with those kindnesses
	That I have done for you.

Viola								I know of none,
	Nor know I you by voice or any feature.
	I hate ingratitude more in a man
	Than lying, vainness, babbling drunkenness,
	Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption
	Inhabits our frail blood.

Antonio								O heavens themselves!

2nd Officer	Come, sir, I pray you, go.

Antonio	Let me speak a little. This youth that you see here
	I snatched one half out of the jaws of death,
	Relieved him with such sanctity of love,
	And to his image, which methought did promise
	Most venerable worth, did I devotion.

1st Officer	What's that to us? The time goes by; away.

Antonio	But, O, how vile an idol proves this god!
	Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.
	In nature there's no blemish but the mind;
	None can be called deformed but the unkind.
	Virtue is beauty, but the beauteous evil
	Are empty trunks, o'erflourished by the devil.

1st Officer	The man grows mad. Away with him! Come, come, sir.

Antonio	Lead me on.
														[Exit led by OFFICERS.

Viola	Methinks his words do from such passion fly
	That he believes himself; so do not I.
	Prove true, imagination, O prove true,
	That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you!

Sir Toby	Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian. We'll whisper o'er 
	a couplet or two of most sage saws.

Viola	He named Sebastian. I my brother know
	Yet living in my glass. Even such and so
	In favour was my brother, and he went
	Still in this fashion, colour, ornament,
	For him I imitate. O, if it prove,
	Tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in love!
														[Exit.

Sir Toby	A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than a hare. 
	His dishonesty appears in leaving his friend here in 
	necessity, and denying him; and for his cowardship, ask 
	Fabian.

Fabian	A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it.

Sir Andrew	'Slid, I'll after him again and beat him.

Sir Toby	Do; cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword.

Sir Andrew	An I do not-
														[Exit.
Fabian	Come, let's see the event.

Sir Toby	I dare lay any money 'twill be nothing yet.
														[Exeunt.
