Before Leonato's House.
 Enter LEONATO and his brother ANTONIO.

Antonio	If you go on thus, you will kill yourself;
	And 'tis not wisdom thus to second grief
	Against yourself.

Leonato						I pray thee cease thy counsel,
	Which falls into mine ears as profitless
	As water in a sieve. Give not me counsel;
	Nor let no comforter delight mine ear
	But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine.
	Bring me a father that so loved his child,
	Whose joy of her is overwhelmed like mine,
	And bid him speak of patience.
	Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine,
	And let it answer every strain for strain,
	As thus for thus, and such a grief for such,
	In every lineament, branch, shape, and form.
	If such a one will smile and stroke his beard,
	Bid sorrow wag, cry 'hem' when he should groan,
	Patch grief with proverbs, make misfortune drunk
	With candle-wasters, bring him yet to me,
	And I of him will gather patience.
	But there is no such man, for, brother, men
	Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief
	Which they themselves not feel, but, tasting it,
	Their counsel turns to passion, which before
	Would give preceptial medicine to rage,
	Fetter strong madness in a silken thread,
	Charm ache with air and agony with words.
	No, no, 'tis all men's office to speak patience
	To those that wring under the load of sorrow,
	But no man's virtue nor sufficiency
	To be so moral when he shall endure
	The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel:
	My griefs cry louder than advertisement.

Antonio	Therein do men from children nothing differ.

Leonato	I pray thee, peace! I will be flesh and blood,
	For there was never yet philosopher
	That could endure the toothache patiently,
	However they have writ the style of gods,
	And made a push at chance and sufferance.

Antonio	Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself,
	Make those that do offend you suffer too.

Leonato	There thou speak'st reason. Nay, I will do so.
	My soul doth tell me Hero is belied;
	And that shall Claudio know, so shall the prince,
	And all of them that thus dishonour her.

                       Enter DON PEDRO and CLAUDIO.

Antonio	Here comes the prince and Claudio hastily.

Don Pedro	Good-den, good-den.

Claudio						Good day to both of you.

Leonato	Hear you, my lords=-=

Don Pedro							We have some haste, Leonato.

Leonato	Some haste, my lord! Well, fare you well, my lord.
	Are you so hasty now? Well, all is one.

Don Pedro	Nay, do not quarrel with us, good old man.

Antonio	If he could right himself with quarrelling,
	Some of us would lie low.

Claudio								Who wrongs him?

Leonato	Marry, thou dost wrong me, thou dissembler, thou!
	Nay, never lay thy hand upon thy sword,
	I fear thee not.

Claudio					Marry, beshrew my hand
	If it should give your age such cause of fear.
	In faith, my hand meant nothing to my sword.

Leonato	Tush, tush, man, never fleer and jest at me;
	I speak not like a dotard nor a fool,
	As under privilege of age to brag
	What I have done being young, or what would do
	Were I not old. Know, Claudio, to thy head,
	Thou hast so wronged mine innocent child and me
	That I am forced to lay my reverence by,
	And, with grey hairs and bruise of many days,
	Do challenge thee to trial of a man.
	I say thou hast belied mine innocent child;
	Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart,
	And she lies buried with her ancestors; O, in a tomb where 
	never scandal slept
	Save this of hers, framed by thy villainy.

Claudio	My villainy?

Leonato				Thine, Claudio; thine, I say.

Don Pedro	You say not right, old man.

Leonato								My lord, my lord,
	I'll prove it on his body, if he dare,
	Despite his nice fence and his active practice,
	His May of youth and bloom of lustihood.

Claudio	Away! I will not have to do with you.

Leonato	Canst thou so daff me? Thou hast killed my child;
	If thou kill'st me, boy, thou shalt kill a man.

Antonio	He shall kill two of us, and men indeed;
	But that's no matter, let him kill one first.
	Win me and wear me; let him answer me.
	Come follow me, boy; come, sir boy, come follow me.
	Sir boy, I'll whip you from your foining fence!
	Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will.

Leonato	Brother=-=

Antonio	Content yourself. God knows I loved my niece;
	And she is dead, slandered to death by villains
	That dare as well answer a man indeed
	As I dare take a serpent by the tongue.
	Boys, apes, braggarts, Jacks, milksops!

Leonato											Brother Antony=-=

Antonio	Hold you content! What, man, I know them, yea,
	And what they weigh, even to the utmost scruple,
	Scambling, outfacing, fashionmonging boys,
	That lie and cog and flout, deprave and slander,
	Go anticly, and show outward hideousness,
	And speak off half a dozen dangerous words
	How they might hurt their enemies, if they durst,
	And this is all.

Leonato	But, brother Antony=-=

Antonio							Come, 'tis no matter.
	Do not you meddle; let me deal in this.

Don Pedro	Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience.
	My heart is sorry for your daughter's death,
	But on my honour she was charged with nothing
	But what was true and very full of proof.

Leonato	My lord, my lord=-=

Don Pedro						I will not hear you.

Leonato	No? Come, brother, away. I will be heard.

Antonio	And shall, or some of us will smart for it.
									   [Exeunt LEONATO and ANTONIO.

                             Enter BENEDICK.

Don Pedro	See, see! Here comes the man we went to seek.

Claudio	Now, signor, what news?

Benedick	Good day, my lord.

Don Pedro	Welcome, signor; you are almost come to part almost a fray.

Claudio	We had like to have had our two noses snapped off with two old 
	men without teeth.

Don Pedro	Leonato and his brother. What think'st thou? Had we fought, I 
	doubt we should have been too young for them.

Benedick	In a false quarrel there is no true valour. I came to seek you 
	both.

Claudio	We have been up and down to seek thee, for we are high-proof 
	melancholy, and would fain have it beaten away. Wilt thou use 
	thy wit?

Benedick	It is in my scabbard; shall I draw it?

Don Pedro	Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side?

Claudio	Never any did so, though very many have been beside their wit. 
	I will bid thee draw, as we do the minstrels, draw to pleasure 
	us.

Don Pedro	As I am an honest man, he looks pale. Art thou sick, or angry?

Claudio	What, courage, man! What though care killed a cat, thou hast 
	mettle enough in thee to kill care.

Benedick	Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career, an you charge it 
	against me. I pray you choose another subject.

Claudio	Nay then, give him another staff; this last was broke cross.

Don Pedro	By this light, he changes more and more. I think he be angry 
	indeed.

Claudio	If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle.

Benedick	Shall I speak a word in your ear?

Claudio	God bless me from a challenge!

Benedick	[Aside to CLAUDIO.] You are a villain. I jest not; I will make 
	it good how you dare, with what you dare, and when you dare. 
	Do me right, or I will protest your cowardice. You have killed 
	a sweet lady, and her death shall fall heavy on you. Let me 
	hear from you.

Claudio	Well, I will meet you, so I may have good cheer.

Don Pedro	What, a feast, a feast?

Claudio	I'faith, I thank him; he hath bid me to a calf's head and a 
	capon; the which if I do not carve most curiously, say my 
	knife's naught. Shall I not find a woodcock too?

Benedick	Sir, your wit ambles well; it goes easily.

Don Pedro	I'll tell thee how Beatrice praised thy wit the other day. I 
	said thou hadst a fine wit. 'True,' said she 'a fine little 
	one.' 'No,' said I 'a great wit.' 'Right,' says she 'a great 
	gross one.' 'Nay,' said I 'a good wit.' 'Just,' said she 'it 
	hurts nobody.' 'Nay,' said I 'the gentleman is wise.' 
	'Certain,' said she 'a wise gentleman.' 'Nay,' said I 'he hath 
	the tongues.' 'That I believe,' said she 'for he swore a thing 
	to me on Monday night which he forswore on Tuesday morning; 
	there's a double tongue, there's two tongues.' Thus did she an 
	hour together transshape thy particular virtues; yet at last 
	she concluded with a sigh thou wast the prop'rest man in 
	Italy.

Claudio	For the which she wept heartily and said she cared not.

Don Pedro	Yea, that she did. But yet, for all that, an if she did not 
	hate him deadly, she would love him dearly. The old man's 
	daughter told us all.

Claudio	All, all; and, moreover, God saw him when he was hid in the 
	garden.

Don Pedro	But when shall we set the savage bull's horns on the sensible 
	Benedick's head?

Claudio	Yea, and text underneath: 'Here dwells Benedick, the married 
	man'.

Benedick	Fare you well, boy; you know my mind. I will leave you now to 
	your gossip-like humour. You break jests as braggarts do their 
	blades, which, God be thanked, hurt not. My lord, for your 
	many courtesies I thank you. I must discontinue your company. 
	Your brother the bastard is fled from Messina. You have among 
	you killed a sweet and innocent lady. For my Lord Lackbeard 
	there, he and I shall meet; and till then, peace be with him.
													[Exit.
Don Pedro	He is in earnest?

Claudio	In most profound earnest; and, I'll warrant you, for the love 
	of Beatrice.

Don Pedro	And hath challenged thee?

Claudio	Most sincerely.

Don Pedro	What a pretty thing man is when he goes in his doublet and 
	hose and leaves off his wit!

Claudio	He is then a giant to an ape; but then is an ape a doctor to 
	such a man.

Don Pedro	But, soft you, let me be. Pluck up, my heart, and be sad. Did 
	he not say my brother was fled?

                  Enter Constables DOGBERRY and VERGES,
                 and the WATCH with CONRAD and BORACHIO.

Dogberry	Come you, sir; if justice cannot tame you, she shall ne'er 
	weigh more reasons in her balance. Nay, an you be a cursing 
	hypocrite once, you must be looked to.

Don Pedro	How now! Two of my brother's men bound? Borachio one?

Claudio	Hearken after their offence, my lord.

Don Pedro	Officers, what offence have these men done?

Dogberry	Marry, sir, they have committed false report; moreover, they 
	have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are slanders; sixth 
	and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have 
	verified unjust things; and to conclude, they are lying 
	knaves.

Don Pedro	First, I ask thee what they have done; thirdly, I ask thee 
	what's their offence; sixth and lastly, why they are 
	committed; and to conclude, what you lay to their charge.

Claudio	Rightly reasoned, and in his own division; and, by my troth, 
	there's one meaning well suited.

Don Pedro	Who have you offended, masters, that you are thus bound to 
	your answer? This learned constable is too cunning to be 
	understood. What's your offence?

Borachio	Sweet Prince, let me go no further to mine answer. Do you hear 
	me, and let this count kill me. I have deceived even your very 
	eyes. What your wisdoms could not discover, these shallow 
	fools have brought to light, who in the night overheard me 
	confessing to this man how Don John your brother incensed me 
	to slander the Lady Hero; how you were brought into the 
	orchard and saw me court Margaret in Hero's garments; how you 
	disgraced her when you should marry her. My villainy they have 
	upon record, which I had rather seal with my death than repeat 
	over to my shame. The lady is dead upon mine and my master's 
	false accusation; and, briefly, I desire nothing but the 
	reward of a villain.

Don Pedro	Runs not this speech like iron through your blood?

Claudio	I have drunk poison whiles he uttered it.

Don Pedro	But did my brother set thee on to this?

Borachio	Yea, and paid me richly for the practice of it.

Don Pedro	He is composed and framed of treachery,
	And fled he is upon this villainy.

Claudio	Sweet Hero, now thy image doth appear
	In the rare semblance that I loved it first.

Dogberry	Come, bring away the plaintiffs. By this time our sexton hath 
	reformed Signor Leonato of the matter. And, masters, do not 
	forget to specify, when time and place shall serve, that I am 
	an ass.

Verges	Here, here comes Master Signor Leonato, and the sexton too.

        Re-enter LEONATO and his brother ANTONIO, with the SEXTON.

Leonato	Which is the villain? Let me see his eyes,
	That when I note another man like him
	I may avoid him. Which of these is he?

Borachio	If you would know your wronger, look on me.

Leonato	Art thou the slave that with thy breath hast killed
	Mine innocent child?

Borachio							Yea, even I alone.

Leonato	No, not so, villain, thou beliest thyself.
	Here stand a pair of honourable men,
	A third is fled, that had a hand in it.
	I thank you, princes, for my daughter's death;
	Record it with your high and worthy deeds;
	'Twas bravely done, if you bethink you of it.

Claudio	I know not how to pray your patience,
	Yet I must speak. Choose your revenge yourself;
	Impose me to what penance your invention
	Can lay upon my sin. Yet sinned I not
	But in mistaking.

Don Pedro						By my soul, nor I;
	And yet, to satisfy this good old man,
	I would bend under any heavy weight
	That he'll enjoin me to.

Leonato	I cannot bid you bid my daughter live=-=
	That were impossible - but, I pray you both,
	Possess the people in Messina here
	How innocent she died; and, if your love
	Can labour aught in sad invention,
	Hang her an epitaph upon her tomb,
	And sing it to her bones; sing it tonight.
	Tomorrow morning come you to my house;
	And since you could not be my son-in-law,
	Be yet my nephew. My brother hath a daughter,
	Almost the copy of my child that's dead,
	And she alone is heir to both of us.
	Give her the right you should have given her cousin,
	And so dies my revenge.

Claudio								O, noble sir,
	Your overkindness doth wring tears from me!
	I do embrace your offer, and dispose
	For henceforth of poor Claudio.

Leonato	Tomorrow then I will expect your coming;
	Tonight I take my leave. This naughty man
	Shall face to face be brought to Margaret,
	Who, I believe, was packed in all this wrong,
	Hired to it by your brother.

Borachio								No, by my soul, she was not,
	Nor knew not what she did when she spoke to me,
	But always hath been just and virtuous
	In anything that I do know by her.

Dogberry	Moreover, sir, which indeed is not under white and black, this 
	plaintiff here, the offender, did call me ass: I beseech you 
	let it be remembered in his punishment. And also the watch 
	heard them talk of one Deformed; they say he wears a key in 
	his ear, and a lock hanging by it, and borrows money in God's 
	name, the which he hath used so long and never paid that now 
	men grow hard-hearted and will lend nothing for God's sake. 
	Pray you, examine him upon that point.

Leonato	I thank thee for thy care and honest pains.

Dogberry	Your worship speaks like a most thankful and reverent youth, 
	and I praise God for you.

Leonato	There's for thy pains.
													[Gives money.
Dogberry	God save the foundation!

Leonato	Go; I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I thank thee.

Dogberry	I leave an arrant knave with your worship, which I beseech 
	your worship to correct yourself, for the example of others. 
	God keep your worship! I wish your worship well. God restore 
	you to health! I humbly give you leave to depart, and if a 
	merry meeting may be wished, God prohibit it! Come, neighbour.
									   [Exeunt DOGBERRY and VERGES.

Leonato	Until tomorrow morning, lords, farewell.

Antonio	Farewell, my lords; we look for you tomorrow.

Don Pedro	We will not fail.

Claudio						Tonight I'll mourn with Hero.
									 [Exeunt DON PEDRO and CLAUDIO.
Leonato	[To the WATCH.]
	Bring you these fellows on. We'll talk with Margaret
	How her acquaintance grew with this lewd fellow.
													[Exeunt severally.
