Before Leonato's House.
 Enter LEONATO, Governor of Messina, HERO his daughter,
 and BEATRICE his niece, with a MESSENGER.

Leonato	I learn in this letter that Don Pedro of Aragon comes this 
	night to Messina.

Messenger	He is very near by this; he was not three leagues off when I 
	left him.

Leonato	How many gentlemen have you lost in this action?

Messenger	But few of any sort, and none of name.

Leonato	A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full 
	numbers. I find here that Don Pedro hath bestowed much honour 
	on a young Florentine called Claudio.

Messenger	Much deserved on his part, and equally remembered by Don 
	Pedro. He hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age 
	doing, in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion. He hath 
	indeed better bettered expectation than you must expect of me 
	to tell you how.

Leonato	He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much glad of it.

Messenger	I have already delivered him letters, and there appears much 
	joy in him; even so much that joy could not show itself modest 
	enough without a badge of bitterness.

Leonato	Did he break out into tears?

Messenger	In great measure.

Leonato	A kind overflow of kindness: there are no faces truer than 
	those that are so washed. How much better is it to weep at joy 
	than to joy at weeping!

Beatrice	I pray you, is Signor Mountanto returned from the wars or no?

Messenger	I know none of that name, lady; there was none such in the 
	army of any sort.

Leonato	What is he that you ask for, niece?

Hero	My cousin means Signor Benedick of Padua.

Messenger	O, he's returned, and as pleasant as ever he was.

Beatrice	He set up his bills here in Messina and challenged Cupid at 
	the flight; and my uncle's fool, reading the challenge, 
	subscribed for Cupid, and challenged him at the bird-bolt. I 
	pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But 
	how many hath he killed? - for, indeed, I promised to eat all 
	of his killing.

Leonato	Faith, niece, you tax Signor Benedick too much; but he'll be 
	meet with you, I doubt it not.

Messenger	He hath done good service, lady, in these wars.

Beatrice	You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it. He is a 
	very valiant trencher-man; he hath an excellent stomach.

Messenger	And a good soldier too, lady.

Beatrice	And a good soldier to a lady, but what is he to a lord?

Messenger	A lord to a lord, a man to a man, stuffed with all honourable 
	virtues.

Beatrice	It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuffed man. But for 
	the stuffing - well, we are all mortal.

Leonato	You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a kind of merry 
	war betwixt Signor Benedick and her. They never meet but 
	there's a skirmish of wit between them.

Beatrice	Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our last conflict four of 
	his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man 
	governed with one, so that if he have wit enough to keep 
	himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself 
	and his horse, for it is all the wealth that he hath left to 
	be known a reasonable creature. Who is his companion now? He 
	hath every month a new sworn brother.

Messenger	Is't possible?

Beatrice	Very easily possible. He wears his faith but as the fashion of 
	his hat; it ever changes with the next block.

Messenger	I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books.

Beatrice	No; an he were I would burn my study. But I pray you, who is 
	his companion? Is there no young squarer now that will make a 
	voyage with him to the devil?

Messenger	He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio.

Beatrice	O Lord, he will hang upon him like a disease; he is sooner 
	caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. 
	God help the noble Claudio! If he have caught the Benedick it 
	will cost him a thousand pound ere a' be cured.

Messenger	I will hold friends with you, lady.

Beatrice	Do, good friend.

Leonato	You will never run mad, niece.

Beatrice	No, not till a hot January.

Messenger	Don Pedro is approached.

 Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, BALTHASAR, and DON JOHN the Bastard.

Don Pedro	Good Signor Leonato, are you come to meet your trouble? The 
	fashion of the world is to avoid cost, and you encounter it.

Leonato	Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your grace; 
	for trouble being gone, comfort should remain; but when you 
	depart from me, sorrow abides, and happiness takes his leave.

Don Pedro	You embrace your charge too willingly. I think this is your 
	daughter.

Leonato	Her mother hath many times told me so.

Benedick	Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her?

Leonato	Signor Benedick, no, for then were you a child.

Don Pedro	You have it full, Benedick. We may guess by this what you are, 
	being a man. Truly, the lady fathers herself. Be happy, lady, 
	for you are like an honourable father.

Benedick	If Signor Leonato be her father, she would not have his head 
	on her shoulders for all Messina, as like him as she is.

Beatrice	I wonder that you will still be talking, Signor Benedick; 
	nobody marks you.

Benedick	What, my dear Lady Disdain! Are you yet living?

Beatrice	Is it possible Disdain should die while she hath such meet 
	food to feed it as Signor Benedick? Courtesy itself must 
	convert to disdain, if you come in her presence.

Benedick	Then is Courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved of 
	all ladies, only you excepted; and I would I could find in my 
	heart that I had not a hard heart; for truly I love none.

Beatrice	A dear happiness to women: they would else have been troubled 
	with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood I am 
	of your humour for that. I had rather hear my dog bark at a 
	crow than a man swear he loves me.

Benedick	God keep your ladyship still in that mind, so some gentleman 
	or other shall 'scape a predestinate scratched face.

Beatrice	Scratching could not make it worse an 'twere such a face as 
	yours were.

Benedick	Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.

Beatrice	A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.

Benedick	I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and so good a 
	continuer. But keep your way, a God's name, I have done.

Beatrice	You always end with a jade's trick. I know you of old.

Don Pedro	That is the sum of all, Leonato. Signor Claudio and Signor 
	Benedick, my dear friend Leonato hath invited you all. I tell 
	him we shall stay here at the least a month, and he heartily 
	prays some occasion may detain us longer. I dare swear he is 
	no hypocrite, but prays from his heart.

Leonato	If you swear, my lord, you shall not be forsworn.
	[To DON JOHN.] Let me bid you welcome, my lord. Being 
	reconciled to the prince your brother, I owe you all duty.

Don John	I thank you. I am not of many words, but I thank you.

Leonato	Please it your grace lead on?

Don Pedro	Your hand, Leonato; we will go together.
							  [Exeunt all but BENEDICK and CLAUDIO.

Claudio	Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of Signor Leonato?

Benedick	I noted her not, but I looked on her.

Claudio	Is she not a modest young lady?

Benedick	Do you question me as an honest man should do, for my simple 
	true judgement, or would you have me speak after my custom, as 
	being a professed tyrant to their sex?

Claudio	No, I pray thee speak in sober judgement.

Benedick	Why, i' faith, methinks she's too low for a high praise, too 
	brown for a fair praise, and too little for a great praise. 
	Only this commendation I can afford her: that were she other 
	than she is, she were unhandsome, and being no other but as 
	she is, I do not like her.

Claudio	Thou thinkest I am in sport. I pray thee, tell me truly how 
	thou likest her.

Benedick	Would you buy her, that you enquire after her?

Claudio	Can the world buy such a jewel?

Benedick	Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this with a sad 
	brow? Or do you play the flouting Jack, to tell us Cupid is a 
	good hare-finder, and Vulcan a rare carpenter? Come, in what 
	key shall a man take you to go in the song?

Claudio	In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever I looked on.

Benedick	I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no such matter. 
	There's her cousin, an she were not possessed with a fury, 
	exceeds her as much in beauty as the first of May doth the 
	last of December. But I hope you have no intent to turn 
	husband, have you?

Claudio	I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the contrary, 
	if Hero would be my wife.

Benedick	Is't come to this? In faith, hath not the world one man but he 
	will wear his cap with suspicion? Shall I never see a bachelor 
	of threescore again? Go to, i'faith, an thou wilt needs thrust 
	thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it, and sigh away 
	Sundays. Look, Don Pedro is returned to seek you.

                           Re-enter DON PEDRO.

Don Pedro	What secret hath held you here that you followed not to 
	Leonato's?

Benedick	I would your grace would constrain me to tell.

Don Pedro	I charge thee on thy allegiance.

Benedick	You hear, Count Claudio? I can be secret as a dumb man, I 
	would have you think so; but, on my allegiance, mark you this, 
	on my allegiance - he is in love. With who? Now that is your 
	grace's part. Mark how short his answer is: - with Hero, 
	Leonato's short daughter.

Claudio	If this were so, so were it uttered.

Benedick	Like the old tale, my lord: 'It is not so, nor 'twas not so, 
	but indeed, God forbid it should be so!'

Claudio	If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it should be 
	otherwise.

Don Pedro	Amen, if you love her, for the lady is very well worthy.

Claudio	You speak this to fetch me in, my lord.

Don Pedro	By my troth, I speak my thought.

Claudio	And in faith, my lord, I spoke mine.

Benedick	And by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I spoke mine.

Claudio	That I love her, I feel.

Don Pedro	That she is worthy, I know.

Benedick	That I neither feel how she should be loved nor know how she 
	should be worthy, is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of 
	me. I will die in it at the stake.

Don Pedro	Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic in the despite of beauty.

Claudio	And never could maintain his part but in the force of his 
	will.

Benedick	That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me 
	up, I likewise give her most humble thanks; but that I will 
	have a recheat winded in my forehead, or hang my bugle in an 
	invisible baldrick, all women shall pardon me. Because I will 
	not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the 
	right to trust none; and the fine is - for the which I may go 
	the finer - I will live a bachelor.

Don Pedro	I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love.

Benedick	With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord, not with 
	love. Prove that ever I lose more blood with love than I will 
	get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-
	maker's pen and hang me up at the door of a brothel-house for 
	the sign of blind Cupid.

Don Pedro	Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt prove 
	a notable argument.

Benedick	If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat and shoot at me; and 
	he that hits me, let him be clapped on the shoulder and called 
	Adam.

Don Pedro	Well, as time shall try:
	'In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.'

Benedick	The savage bull may, but if ever the sensible Benedick bear 
	it, pluck off the bull's horns and set them in my forehead, 
	and let me be vilely painted, and in such great letters as 
	they write 'Here is good horse to hire' let them signify under 
	my sign 'Here you may see Benedick, the married man'.

Claudio	If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad.

Don Pedro	Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in Venice, thou 
	wilt quake for this shortly.

Benedick	I look for an earthquake too, then.

Don Pedro	Well, you will temporize with the hours. In the meantime, good 
	Signor Benedick, repair to Leonato's; commend me to him and 
	tell him I will not fail him at supper, for indeed he hath 
	made great preparation.

Benedick	I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage; and 
	so I commit you=-=

Claudio	To the tuition of God; from my house, if I had it=-=

Don Pedro	The sixth of July. Your loving friend, Benedick.

Benedick	Nay, mock not, mock not. The body of your discourse is 
	sometime guarded with fragments, and the guards are but 
	slightly basted on neither. Ere you flout old ends any 
	further, examine your conscience. And so I leave you.
													[Exit.
Claudio	My liege, your highness now may do me good.

Don Pedro	My love is thine to teach. Teach it but how,
	And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn
	Any hard lesson that may do thee good.

Claudio	Hath Leonato any son, my lord?

Don Pedro	No child but Hero; she's his only heir.
	Dost thou affect her, Claudio?

Claudio									O, my lord,
	When you went onward on this ended action,
	I looked upon her with a soldier's eye,
	That liked, but had a rougher task in hand
	Than to drive liking to the name of love;
	But now I am returned, and that war-thoughts
	Have left their places vacant, in their rooms
	Come thronging soft and delicate desires,
	All prompting me how fair young Hero is,
	Saying I liked her ere I went to wars.

Don Pedro	Thou wilt be like a lover presently,
	And tire the hearer with a book of words.
	If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it,
	And I will break with her, and with her father,
	And thou shalt have her. Was't not to this end
	That thou began'st to twist so fine a story?

Claudio	How sweetly you do minister to love
	That know love's grief by his complexion!
	But lest my liking might too sudden seem,
	I would have salved it with a longer treatise.

Don Pedro	What need the bridge much broader than the flood?
	The fairest grant is the necessity.
	Look what will serve is fit. 'Tis once, thou lovest;
	And I will fit thee with the remedy.
	I know we shall have revelling tonight:
	I will assume thy part in some disguise,
	And tell fair Hero I am Claudio,
	And in her bosom I'll unclasp my heart
	And take her hearing prisoner with the force
	And strong encounter of my amorous tale.
	Then, after, to her father will I break;
	And the conclusion is she shall be thine.
	In practice let us put it presently.
													[Exeunt.
