A Field near Frogmore.
 Enter SIR HUGH EVANS, with a book, and SIMPLE.

Evans	I pray you now, good Master Slender's servingman, and 
	friend Simple by your name, which way have you looked for 
	Master Caius, that calls himself Doctor of Physic?

Simple	Marry, sir, the Petty-ward, the Park-ward, every way; Old 
	Windsor way, and every way but the town way.

Evans	I most fehemently desire you you will also look that way.

Simple	I will, sir.
												[Exit.

Evans	Pless my soul, how full of chollors I am, and trempling of 
	mind! I shall be glad if he have deceived me. How 
	melancholies I am! I will knog his urinals about his 
	knave's costard when I have good opportunities for the 
	ork. Pless my soul!

	[Sings.]	To shallow rivers, to whose falls
			Melodious birds sings madrigals;
			There will we make our peds of roses,
			And a thousand fragrant posies.
			To shallow-

	Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry.

	[Sings.]	Melodious birds sing madrigals-
			When as I sat in Pabylon-
			And a thousand vagram posies.
			To shallow, etc.

                             Re-enter SIMPLE.

Simple	Yonder he is coming, this way, Sir Hugh.

Evans	He's welcome.

	[Sings.]	To shallow rivers, to whose falls-

	Heaven prosper the right! - What weapons is he?

Simple	No weapons, sir. There comes my master, Master Shallow, 
	and another gentleman, from Frogmore, over the stile, this 
	way.

Evans	Pray you, give me my gown, or else keep it in your arms.
												[Reads the book.

                     Enter PAGE, SHALLOW and SLENDER.

Shallow	How now, Master Parson! Good morrow, good Sir Hugh. Keep a 
	gamester from the dice, and a good student from his book, 
	and it is wonderful.

Slender	Ah, sweet Anne Page!

Page	Save you, good Sir Hugh!

Evans	Pless you from His mercy sake, all of you!

Shallow	What, the sword and the word! Do you study them both, 
	Master Parson?

Page	And youthful still in your doublet and hose this raw 
	rheumatic day?

Evans	There is reasons and causes for it.

Page	We are come to you to do a good office, Master Parson.

Evans	Fery well: what is it?

Page	Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike having 
	received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his 
	own gravity and patience that ever you saw.

Shallow	I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never heard a 
	man of his place, gravity, and learning so wide of his own 
	respect.

Evans	What is he?

Page	I think you know him - Master Doctor Caius, the renowned 
	French physician.

Evans	Got's will, and His passion of my heart! I had as lief you 
	would tell me of a mess of porridge.

Page	Why?

Evans	He has no more knowledge in Hipocrates and Galen - and he 
	is a knave besides: a cowardly knave as you would desires 
	to be acquainted withal.

Page	I warrant you, he's the man should fight with him.

Slender	O sweet Anne Page!

Shallow	It appears so by his weapons. Keep them asunder: here 
	comes Doctor Caius.

                   Enter HOST, DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY.

Page	Nay, good Master Parson, keep in your weapon.

Shallow	So do you, good Master Doctor.

Host	Disarm them, and let them question. Let them keep their 
	limbs whole, and hack our English.

Caius	I pray you let-a me speak a word with your ear. Verefore 
	vill you not meet-a me?

Evans	[Aside to CAIUS.] Pray you use your patience.
	[Aloud.] In good time.

Caius	By gar, you are de coward, de jack-dog, john-ape!

Evans	[Aside to CAIUS.] Pray you, let us not be laughing-stocks 
	to other men's humours. I desire you in friendship, and I 
	will one way or other make you amends.
	[Aloud.] I will knog your urinal about your knave's 
	cogscomb.

Caius	Diable! Jack Rugby, mine host de Jarteer, have I not stay 
	for him to kill him? Have I not, at de place I did 
	appoint?

Evans	As I am a Christians soul, now, look you, this is the 
	place appointed. I'll be judgement by mine host of the 
	Garter.

Host	Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh, soul-
	curer and body-curer.

Caius	Ay, dat is very good, excellent.

Host	Peace, I say! Hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politic? 
	Am I subtle? Am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? No, 
	he gives me the potions and the motions. Shall I lose my 
	parson, my priest, my Sir Hugh? No, he gives me the 
	proverbs and the no-verbs. Give me thy hand, terrestrial, 
	so; give me thy hand, celestial, so. Boys of art, I have 
	deceived you both: I have directed you to wrong places. 
	Your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let 
	burnt sack be the issue. Come, lay their swords to pawn. 
	Follow me, lads of peace; follow, follow, follow.
												[Exit.

Shallow	Trust me - a mad host! Follow, gentlemen, follow.

Slender	O sweet Anne Page!
								 [Exeunt SLENDER, SHALLOW and PAGE.

Caius	Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a de sot of us, ha, 
	ha?

Evans	This is well; he has made us his vlouting-stog. I desire 
	you that we may be friends, and let us knog our prains 
	together to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging 
	companion, the host of the Garter.

Caius	By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me where is 
	Anne Page: by gar, he deceive me too.

Evans	Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you, follow.
												[Exeunt.
