Windsor. Before Page's House.
 Enter JUSTICE SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS.

Shallow	Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star Chamber 
	matter of it. If he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he 
	shall not abuse Robert Shallow, Esquire.

Slender	In the county of Gloucester, Justice of Peace and Coram.

Shallow	Ay, cousin Slender, and Custalorum.

Slender	Ay, and Ratolorum too; and a gentleman born, Master 
	Parson, who writes himself 'Armigero' in any bill, 
	warrant, quittance, or obligation - 'Armigero'.

Shallow	Ay, that I do, and have done any time these three hundred 
	years.

Slender	All his successors gone before him hath done't, and all 
	his ancestors that come after him may: they may give the 
	dozen white luces in their coat.

Shallow	It is an old coat.

Evans	The dozen white louses do become an old coat well. It 
	agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and 
	signifies love.

Shallow	The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat.

Slender	I may quarter, coz.

Shallow	You may, by marrying.

Evans	It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.

Shallow	Not a whit.

Evans	Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, there is 
	but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures; 
	but that is all one. If Sir John Falstaff have committed 
	disparagements unto you, I am of the Church and will be 
	glad to do my benevolence to make atonements and 
	compromises between you.

Shallow	The Council shall hear it; it is a riot.

Evans	It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no fear 
	of Got in a riot. The Council, look you, shall desire to 
	hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your 
	vizaments in that.

Shallow	Ha! O' my life, if I were young again, the sword should 
	end it.

Evans	It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it; and 
	there is also another device in my prain, which 
	peradventure prings goot discretions with it. There is 
	Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas Page, which 
	is pretty virginity.

Slender	Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small 
	like a woman.

Evans	It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you 
	will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold 
	and silver, is her grandsire upon his death's-bed - Got 
	deliver to a joyful resurrections! - give, when she is 
	able to overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot 
	motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a 
	marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.

Shallow	Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?

Evans	Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny

Shallow	I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.

Evans	Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is goot gifts.

Shallow	Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?

Evans	Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do 
	despise one that is false, or as I despise one that is not 
	true. The knight Sir John is there, and I beseech you be 
	ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door for 
	Master Page.
												[Knocks.
	What ho! Got pless your house here!

Page	[Within.] Who's there?

Evans	Here is Got's plessing and your friend, and Justice 
	Shallow, and here young Master Slender, that peradventures 
	shall tell you another tale if matters grow to your 
	likings.

                               Enter PAGE.

Page	I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for my 
	venison, Master Shallow.

Shallow	Master Page, I am glad to see you - much good do it your 
	good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill 
	killed. How doth good Mistress Page? And I thank you 
	always with my heart, la, with my heart.

Page	Sir, I thank you.

Shallow	Sir, I thank you; by yea and no I do.

Page	I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.

Slender	How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he was 
	outrun on Cotsall.

Page	It could not be judged, sir.

Slender	You'll not confess, you'll not confess.

Shallow	That he will not. 'Tis your fault, 'tis your fault. 'Tis a 
	good dog.

Page	A cur, sir.

Shallow	Sir, he's a good dog and a fair dog; can there be more 
	said? He is good and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff here?

Page	Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office 
	between you.

Evans	It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.

Shallow	He hath wronged me, Master Page.

Page	Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.

Shallow	If it be confessed, it is not redressed - is not that so, 
	Master Page? He hath wronged me, indeed he hath; at a 
	word, he hath, believe me. Robert Shallow, Esquire, saith 
	he is wronged.

           Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL.

Page	Here comes Sir John.

Falstaff	Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me to the King?

Shallow	Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke 
	open my lodge.

Falstaff	But not kissed your keeper's daughter?

Shallow	Tut, a pin! This shall be answered.

Falstaff	I will answer it straight: I have done all this. That is 
	now answered.

Shallow	The Council shall know this.

Falstaff	'Twere better for you if it were known in counsel: you'll 
	be laughed at.

Evans	Pauca verba; Sir John, goot worts.

Falstaff	Good worts? Good cabbage! Slender, I broke your head: what 
	matter have you against me?

Slender	Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you, and 
	against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and 
	Pistol.

Bardolph	You Banbury cheese!

Slender	Ay, it is no matter.

Pistol	How now, Mephistophilus?

Slender	Ay, it is no matter.

Nym	Slice, I say! Pauca, pauca; slice! - that's my humour.

Slender	Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin?

Evans	Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand: there is three 
	umpires in this matter, as I understand; that is, Master 
	Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is myself, 
	fidelicet myself; and the three party is, lastly and 
	finally, mine host of the Garter.

Page	We three, to hear it and end it between them.

Evans	Fery goot. I will make a prief of it in my notebook, and 
	we will afterwards ork upon the cause with as great 
	discreetly as we can.

Falstaff	Pistol!

Pistol	He hears with ears.

Evans	The tevil and his tam! What phrase is this, "He hears with 
	ear"? Why, it is affectations.

Falstaff	Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse?

Slender	Ay, by these gloves, did he - or I would I might never 
	come in mine own great chamber again else - of seven 
	groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards 
	that cost me two shilling and twopence apiece of Yead 
	Miller, by these gloves.

Falstaff	Is this true, Pistol?

Evans	No, it is false, if it is a pick-purse.

Pistol	Ha, thou mountain foreigner! Sir John and master mine,
	I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.
	Word of denial in thy labras here!
	Word of denial: froth and scum, thou liest!

Slender	[Pointing to NYM.] By these gloves, then 'twas he.

Nym	Be avised, sir, and pass good humours. I will say 'marry 
	trap with you' if you run the nuthook's humour on me. That 
	is the very note of it.

Slender	By this hat, then he in the red face had it; for though I 
	cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I 
	am not altogether an ass.

Falstaff	What say you, Scarlet and John?

Bardolph	Why, sir, for my part, I say the gentleman had drunk 
	himself out of his five sentences.

Evans	It is his 'five senses'. Fie, what the ignorance is!

Bardolph	And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashiered; and so 
	conclusions passed the careers.

Slender	Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter. I'll 
	ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, 
	godly company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be 
	drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with 
	drunken knaves.

Evans	So Got 'udge me, that is a virtuous mind.

Falstaff	You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.

       Enter ANNE PAGE, with wine, MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE.

Page	Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within.
												[Exit ANNE PAGE.
Slender	O heaven, this is Mistress Anne Page!

Page	How now, Mistress Ford?

Falstaff	Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met. By your 
	leave, good mistress.
												[Kisses her.

Page	Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a hot 
	venison pasty to dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope we shall 
	drink down all unkindness.
												[Exeunt all but SLENDER.

Slender	I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of Songs 
	and Sonnets here.

                              Enter SIMPLE.

	How now, Simple, where have you been? I must wait on 
	myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles about 
	you, have you?

Simple	Book of Riddles? Why, did you not lend it to Alice 
	Shortcake upon All-hallowmas last, a fortnight afore 
	Michaelmas?

                   Re-enter SHALLOW and SIR HUGH EVANS.

Shallow	Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, 
	coz. Marry, this, coz: there is, as 'twere, a tender, a 
	kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here. Do you 
	understand me?

Slender	Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable: if it be so, I 
	shall do that that is reason.

Shallow	Nay, but understand me.

Slender	So I do, sir.

Evans	Give ear to his motions. Master Slender, I will 
	description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.

Slender	Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says. I pray you 
	pardon me; he's a Justice of Peace in his country, simple 
	though I stand here.

Evans	But that is not the question: the question is concerning 
	your marriage.

Shallow	Ay, there's the point, sir.

Evans	Marry, is it, the very point of it - to Mistress Anne 
	Page.

Slender	Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable 
	demands.

Evans	But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to know 
	that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers 
	philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the mouth: 
	therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the 
	maid?

Shallow	Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?

Slender	I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that would 
	do reason.

Evans	Nay, Got's lords and His ladies! You must speak 
	possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her.

Shallow	That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her?

Slender	I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, 
	cousin, in any reason.

Shallow	Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do is to 
	pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid?

Slender	I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there be no 
	great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it 
	upon better acquaintance, when we are married and have 
	more occasion to know one another. I hope upon familiarity 
	will grow more content: but if you say 'Marry her', I will 
	marry her; that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.

Evans	It is a fery discretion answer; save the fall is in the 
	ord 'dissolutely': the ort is, according to our meaning, 
	'resolutely'. His meaning is good.

Shallow	Ay, I think my cousin meant well.

Slender	Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la!

                           Re-enter ANNE PAGE.

Shallow	Here comes fair Mistress Anne. Would I were young for your 
	sake, Mistress Anne!

Anne	The dinner is on the table; my father desires your 
	worships' company.

Shallow	I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne.

Evans	Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.
												[Exeunt SHALLOW and EVANS.

Anne	Will't please your worship to come in, sir?

Slender	No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.

Anne	The dinner attends you, sir.

Slender	I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth.
	[To SIMPLE.] Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait 
	upon my cousin Shallow.
												[Exit SIMPLE.

	A Justice of Peace sometime may be beholding to his friend 
	for a man. I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my 
	mother be dead - but what though? Yet I live like a poor 
	gentleman born.

Anne	I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit 
	till you come.

Slender	I'faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I 
	did.

Anne	I pray you, sir, walk in.
												[Dogs bark within.

Slender	I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised my shin 
	th'other day with playing at sword and dagger with a 
	master of fence - three veneys for a dish of stewed prunes 
	- and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat 
	since. Why do your dogs bark so? Be there bears i'th'town?

Anne	I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.

Slender	I love the sport well, but I shall as soon quarrel at it 
	as any man in England. You are afraid if you see the bear 
	loose, are you not?

Anne	Ay, indeed, sir.

Slender	That's meat and drink to me, now. I have seen Sackerson 
	loose twenty times, and have taken him by the chain; but, 
	I warrant you, the women have so cried and shrieked at it 
	that it passed: but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em; they 
	are very ill-favoured rough things.

                              Re-enter PAGE.

Page	Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.

Slender	I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.

Page	By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! Come, come.

Slender	Nay, pray you, lead the way.

Page	Come on, sir.

Slender	Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.

Anne	Not I, sir; pray you, keep on.

Slender	Truly, I will not go first; truly, la! I will not do you 
	that wrong.

Anne	I pray you, sir.

Slender	I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome. You do 
	yourself wrong indeed, la!
												[Exeunt.
