Another part of the Park. Before the Princess's Pavilion.
 Enter the PRINCESS, ROSALINE, KATHARINE, and MARIA.

Princess	Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart,
	If fairings come thus plentifully in.
	A lady walled about with diamonds!
	Look you what I have from the loving king.

Rosaline	Madam, came nothing else along with that?

Princess	Nothing but this? Yes, as much love in rhyme
	As would be crammed up in a sheet of paper
	Writ o'both sides the leaf, margent and all,
	That he was fain to seal on Cupid's name.

Rosaline	That was the way to make his godhead wax;
	For he hath been five thousand year a boy.

Katharine	Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows too.

Rosaline	You'll ne'er be friends with him: a' killed your sister.

Katharine	He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy;
	And so she died. Had she been light, like you,
	Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit,
	She might ha' been a grandam ere she died;
	And so may you, for a light heart lives long.

Rosaline	What's your dark meaning, mouse, of this light word?

Katharine	A light condition in a beauty dark.

Rosaline	We need more light to find your meaning out.

Katharine	You'll mar the light by taking it in snuff;
	Therefore I'll darkly end the argument.

Rosaline	Look what you do, you do it still i'the dark.

Katharine	So do not you, for you are a light wench.

Rosaline	Indeed I weigh not you, and therefore light.

Katharine	You weigh me not? O, that's you care not for me.

Rosaline	Great reason, for past care is still past cure.

Princess	Well bandied both! A set of wit well played.
	But, Rosaline, you have a favour too:
	Who sent it? And what is it?

Rosaline									I would you knew.
	An if my face were but as fair as yours,
	My favour were as great - be witness this.
	Nay, I have verses too, I thank Berowne;
	The numbers true, and, were the numbering too,
	I were the fairest goddess on the ground.
	I am compared to twenty thousand fairs.
	O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter.

Princess	Anything like?

Rosaline	Much in the letters, nothing in the praise.

Princess	Beauteous as ink - a good conclusion.

Katharine	Fair as a text B in a copybook.

Rosaline	Ware pencils, ho! Let me not die your debtor,
	My red dominical, my golden letter.
	O that your face were not so full of O's!

Princess	A pox of that jest; and I beshrew all shrows!
	But, Katharine, what was sent to you from fair Dumaine?

Katharine	Madam, this glove.

Princess						Did he not send you twain?

Katharine	Yes, madam; and, moreover,
	Some thousand verses of a faithful lover;
	A huge translation of hypocrisy,
	Vilely compiled, profound simplicity.

Maria	This, and these pearls, to me sent Longaville.
	The letter is too long by half a mile.

Princess	I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart
	The chain were longer and the letter short?

Maria	Ay, or I would these hands might never part.

Princess	We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.

Rosaline	They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.
	That same Berowne I'll torture ere I go.
	O that I knew he were but in by th' week!
	How I would make him fawn, and beg, and seek,
	And wait the season, and observe the times,
	And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes,
	And shape his service wholly to my hests,
	And make him proud to make me proud that jests!
	So Paire-Taunt-like would I o'ersway his state
	That he should be my fool, and I his fate.

Princess	None are so surely caught, when they are catched,
	As wit turned fool. Folly, in wisdom hatched,
	Hath wisdom's warrant and the help of school
	And wit's own grace to grace a learnd fool.

Rosaline	The blood of youth burns not with such excess
	As gravity's revolt to wantonness.

Maria	Folly in fools bears not so strong a note
	As foolery in the wise when wit doth dote;
	Since all the power thereof it doth apply
	To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.

                               Enter BOYET.

Princess	Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.

Boyet	O, I am stabbed with laughter! Where's her grace?

Princess	Thy news, Boyet?

Boyet						Prepare, madam, prepare!
	Arm, wenches, arm! Encounters mounted are
	Against your peace. Love doth approach disguised,
	Armd in arguments. You'll be surprised.
	Muster your wits, stand in your own defence;
	Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence.

Princess	Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they
	That charge their breath against us? Say, scout, say.

Boyet	Under the cool shade of a sycamore
	I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour,
	When, lo, to interrupt my purposed rest,
	Toward that shade I might behold addrest
	The king and his companions. Warily
	I stole into a neighbour thicket by,
	And overheard what you shall overhear-
	That, by and by, disguised they will be here.
	Their herald is a pretty knavish page,
	That well by heart hath conned his embassage.
	Action and accent did they teach him there:
	'Thus must thou speak' and 'thus thy body bear'.
	And ever and anon they made a doubt
	Presence majestical would put him out;
	'For' quoth the king 'an angel shalt thou see;
	Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.'
	The boy replied 'An angel is not evil;
	I should have feared her had she been a devil'.
	With that all laughed and clapped him on the shoulder,
	Making the bold wag by their praises bolder.
	One rubbed his elbow thus, and fleered, and swore
	A better speech was never spoke before;
	Another, with his finger and his thumb,
	Cried 'Via, we will do't, come what will come!'
	The third he capered and cried 'All goes well!'
	The fourth turned on the toe, and down he fell.
	With that they all did tumble on the ground
	With such a zealous laughter, so profound,
	That in this spleen ridiculous appears,
	To check their folly, passion's solemn tears.

Princess	But what, but what? Come they to visit us?

Boyet	They do, they do; and are apparelled thus,
	Like Muscovites or Russians, as I guess.
	Their purpose is to parle, to court, and dance;
	And everyone his love-feat will advance
	Unto his several mistress, which they'll know
	By favours several which they did bestow.

Princess	And will they so? The gallants shall be tasked;
	For, ladies, we will every one be masked,
	And not a man of them shall have the grace,
	Despite of suit, to see a lady's face.
	Hold, Rosaline, this favour thou shalt wear,
	And then the king will court thee for his dear.
	Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine,
	So shall Berowne take me for Rosaline.
	And change you favours too; so shall your loves
	Woo contrary, deceived by these removes.

Rosaline	Come on, then; wear the favours most in sight.

Katharine	But in this changing what is your intent?

Princess	The effect of my intent is to cross theirs.
	They do it but in mockery-merriment,
	And mock for mock is only my intent.
	Their several counsels they unbosom shall
	To loves mistook, and so be mocked withal
	Upon the next occasion that we meet,
	With visages displayed, to talk and greet.

Rosaline	But shall we dance if they desire us to't?

Princess	No, to the death we will not move a foot;
	Nor to their penned speech render we no grace,
	But while 'tis spoke each turn away her face.

Boyet	Why, that contempt will kill the speaker's heart,
	And quite divorce his memory from his part.

Princess	Therefore I do it; and I make no doubt
	The rest will ne'er come in, if he be out.
	There's no such sport as sport by sport o'erthrown,
	To make theirs ours, and ours none but our own.
	So shall we stay, mocking intended game,
	And they, well mocked, depart away with shame.
															[Trumpets sound.

Boyet	The trumpet sounds. Be masked, the maskers come.

   Enter BLACKAMOORS with music, MOTH with a speech, the KING, BEROWNE,
       LONGAVILLE, and DUMAINE, disguised as Russians, and visored.

Moth	[Reciting.] All hail, the richest beauties on the earth!

Boyet	[Aside.] Beauties no richer than rich taffeta.

Moth	[Reciting.] A holy parcel of the fairest dames
								[The LADIES turn their backs to him.
	That ever turned their - backs - to mortal views!

Berowne	'Their eyes', villain, 'their eyes'.

Moth	[Reciting.] That ever turned their eyes to mortal views!
	Out-

Boyet	True, 'out' indeed.

Moth	[Reciting.] Out of your favours, heavenly spirits, vouchsafe
	Not to behold-

Berowne	'Once to behold', rogue.

Moth	[Reciting.] Once to behold with your sunbeamd eyes
	- with your sunbeamd eyes-

Boyet	They will not answer to that epithet;
	You were best call it 'daughter-beamd eyes'.

Moth	They do not mark me, and that brings me out.

Berowne	Is this your perfectness? Be gone, you rogue!
															[Exit MOTH.

Rosaline	What would these strangers? Know their minds, Boyet.
	If they do speak our language, 'tis our will
	That some plain man recount their purposes.
	Know what they would.

Boyet						What would you with the princess?

Berowne	Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.

Rosaline	What would they, say they?

Boyet	Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.

Rosaline	Why, that they have; and bid them so be gone.

Boyet	She says you have it, and you may be gone.

King	Say to her we have measured many miles
	To tread a measure with her on this grass.

Boyet	They say that they have measured many a mile
	To tread a measure with you on this grass.

Rosaline	It is not so. Ask them how many inches
	Is in one mile. If they have measured many,
	The measure then of one is easily told.

Boyet	If to come hither you have measured miles,
	And many miles, the princess bids you tell
	How many inches doth fill up one mile.

Berowne	Tell her we measure them by weary steps.

Boyet	She hears herself.

Rosaline						How many weary steps
	Of many weary miles you have o'ergone,
	Are numbered in the travel of one mile?

Berowne	We number nothing that we spend for you.
	Our duty is so rich, so infinite,
	That we may do it still without account.
	Vouchsafe to show the sunshine of your face,
	That we, like savages, may worship it.

Rosaline	My face is but a moon, and clouded too.

King	Blessd are clouds, to do as such clouds do!
	Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to shine,
	Those clouds removed, upon our watery eyne.

Rosaline	O vain petitioner, beg a greater matter;
	Thou now requests but moonshine in the water.

King	Then in our measure do but vouchsafe one change.
	Thou bidd'st me beg; this begging is not strange.

Rosaline	Play, music, then!
															[Music plays.
						Nay, you must do it soon.
	Not yet? No dance! Thus change I like the moon.

King	Will you not dance? How come you thus estranged?

Rosaline	You took the moon at full, but now she's changed.

King	Yet still she is the moon, and I the man.
	The music plays; vouchsafe some motion to it.

Rosaline	Our ears vouchsafe it.

King							But your legs should do it.

Rosaline	Since you are strangers, and come here by chance,
	We'll not be nice. Take hands; we will not dance.

King	Why take we hands then?

Rosaline							Only to part friends.
	Curtsy, sweet hearts; and so the measure ends.

King	More measure of this measure; be not nice.

Rosaline	We can afford no more at such a price.

King	Price you yourselves? What buys your company?

Rosaline	Your absence only.

King						That can never be.

Rosaline	Then cannot we be bought; and so, adieu;
	Twice to your visor, and half once to you!

King	If you deny to dance, lets hold more chat.

Rosaline	In private then.

King					I am best pleased with that.
															[They converse apart.

Berowne	White-handed mistress, one sweet word with thee.

Princess	Honey, and milk, and sugar; there is three.

Berowne	Nay then, two treys, an if you grow so nice,
	Metheglin, wort, and malmsey - well run, dice!
	There's half a dozen sweets.

Princess								Seventh sweet, adieu.
	Since you can cog, I'll play no more with you.

Berowne	One word in secret.

Princess						Let it not be sweet.

Berowne	Thou grievest my gall.

Princess							Gall? - bitter.

Berowne											Therefore meet.
															[They converse apart.

Dumaine	Will you vouchsafe with me to change a word?

Maria	Name it.

Dumaine				Fair lady-

Maria							Say you so? Fair lord-
	Take that for your fair lady.

Dumaine									Please it you,
	As much in private, and I'll bid adieu.
															[They converse apart.

Katharine	What, was your visor made without a tongue?

Longaville	I know the reason, lady, why you ask.

Katharine	O, for your reason! Quickly, sir, I long.

Longaville	You have a double tongue within your mask,
	And would afford my speechless visor half.

Katharine	'Veal' quoth the Dutchman. Is not 'veal' a calf?

Longaville	A calf, fair lady!

Katharine						No, a fair lord calf.

Longaville	Let's part the word.

Katharine							No, I'll not be your half.
	Take all, and wean it; it may prove an ox.

Longaville	Look how you butt yourself in these sharp mocks.
	Will you give horns, chaste lady? Do not so.

Katharine	Then die a calf, before your horns do grow.

Longaville	One word in private with you ere I die.

Katharine	Bleat softly then; the butcher hears you cry.
															[They converse apart.

Boyet	The tongues of mocking wenches are as keen
		As is the razor's edge invisible,
	Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen,
		Above the sense of sense; so sensible
	Seemeth their conference. Their conceits have wings
	Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter things.

Rosaline	Not one word more, my maids; break off, break off.

Berowne	By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure scoff!

King	Farewell, mad wenches! You have simple wits.
															[Exeunt KING, LORDS
															and BLACKAMOORS.
Princess	Twenty adieus, my frozen Muscovits.
	Are these the breed of wits so wondered at?

Boyet		Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths puffed out.

Rosaline	Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross; fat, fat.

Princess		O poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout!
	Will they not, think you, hang themselves tonight?
		Or ever but in visors show their faces?
	This pert Berowne was out of countenance quite.

Rosaline		They were all in lamentable cases.
	The king was weeping-ripe for a good word.

Princess		Berowne did swear himself out of all suit.

Maria	Dumaine was at my service, and his sword.
		'No point' quoth I; my servant straight was mute.

Katharine	Lord Longaville said I came o'er his heart;
		And trow you what he called me?

Princess									'Qualm', perhaps.

Katharine	Yes, in good faith.

Princess						Go, sickness as thou art!

Rosaline		Well, better wits have worn plain statute-caps.
	But will you hear? The king is my love sworn.

Princess		And quick Berowne hath plighted faith to me.

Katharine	And Longaville was for my service born.

Maria		Dumaine is mine, as sure as bark on tree.

Boyet	Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ear:
	Immediately they will again be here
	In their own shapes; for it can never be
	They will digest this harsh indignity.

Princess	Will they return?

Boyet						They will, they will, God knows;
	And leap for joy, though they are lame with blows.
	Therefore change favours, and when they repair,
	Blow like sweet roses in this summer air.

Princess	How blow? How blow? Speak to be understood.

Boyet	Fair ladies masked are roses in their bud;
	Dismasked, their damask sweet commixture shown,
	Are angels vailing clouds, or roses blown.

Princess	Avaunt, perplexity! What shall we do
	If they return in their own shapes to woo?

Rosaline	Good madam, if by me you'll be advised,
	Let's mock them still, as well known as disguised.
	Let us complain to them what fools were here,
	Disguised like Muscovites, in shapeless gear;
	And wonder what they were, and to what end
	Their shallow shows and prologue vilely penned,
	And their rough carriage so ridiculous,
	Should be presented at our tent to us.

Boyet	Ladies, withdraw - the gallants are at hand.

Princess	Whip to our tents, as roes run over land.
											[Exeunt PRINCESS, ROSALINE,
															KATHARINE, and MARIA.

   Re-enter the KING, BEROWNE, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAINE, as themselves.

