Another part of the Park.
 Enter HOLOFERNES, SIR NATHANIEL, and DULL.

Holofernes	Satis quod sufficit.

Nathaniel	I praise God for you, sir. Your reasons at dinner have been 
	sharp and sententious; pleasant without scurrility, witty 
	without affection, audacious without impudency, learned 
	without opinion, and strange without heresy. I did converse 
	this quondam day with a companion of the king's, who is 
	intituled, nominated, or called, Don Adriano de Armado.

Holofernes	Novi hominem tanquam te. His humour is lofty, his discourse 
	peremptory, his tongue filed, his eye ambitious, his gait 
	majestical, and his general behaviour vain, ridiculous, and 
	thrasonical. He is too picked, too spruce, too affected, too 
	odd, as it were, too peregrinate, as I may call it.

Nathaniel	A most singular and choice epithet.
											 [Draws out his table-book.

Holofernes	He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the 
	staple of his argument. I abhor such fanatical phantasimes, 
	such insociable and point-devise companions, such rackers of 
	orthography, as to speak 'dout' sine b, when he should say 
	'doubt'; 'det' when he should pronounce 'debt' - d, e, b, t, 
	not d, e, t. He clepeth a calf, 'cauf'; half, 'hauf'; 
	neighbour vocatur 'nebour'; neigh abbreviated 'ne'. This is 
	abhominable, which he would call 'abominable'. It insinuateth 
	me of insanie: ne intelligis, domine? To make frantic, 
	lunatic.

Nathaniel	Laus Deo, bone intelligo.

Holofernes	Bone? 'Bone' for 'bene'. Priscian a little scratched; 'twill 
	serve.

                     Enter ARMADO, MOTH, and COSTARD.

Nathaniel	Videsne quis venit?

Holofernes	Video et gaudeo.

Armado	[To MOTH.] Chirrah!

Holofernes	Quare 'chirrah', not sirrah?

Armado	Men of peace, well encountered.

Holofernes	Most military sir, salutation.

Moth	[Aside to COSTARD.] They have been at a great feast of 
	languages, and stolen the scraps.

Costard	[Aside to MOTH.] O, they have lived long on the alms-basket 
	of words! I marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a word, 
	for thou art not so long by the head as 
	honorificabilitudinitatibus; thou art easier swallowed than a 
	flap-dragon.

Moth	Peace, the peal begins.

Armado	[To HOLOFERNES.] Monsieur, are you not lettered?

Moth	Yes, yes, he teaches boys the hornbook. What is a, b, spelt 
	backward with the horn on his head?

Holofernes	Ba, pueritia, with a horn added.

Moth	Ba, most silly sheep with a horn: you hear his learning.

Holofernes	Quis, quis, thou consonant?

Moth	The last of the five vowels, if you repeat them; or the 
	fifth, if I.

Holofernes	I will repeat them; a, e, i-

Moth	The sheep; the other two concludes it: o, u.

Armado	Now, by the salt wave of the Mediterraneum, a sweet touch, a 
	quick venue of wit. Snip, snap, quick and home! It rejoiceth 
	my intellect - true wit!

Moth	Offered by a child to an old man; which is wit-old.

Holofernes	What is the figure? What is the figure?

Moth	Horns.

Holofernes	Thou disputes like an infant. Go whip thy gig.

Moth	Lend me your horn to make one, and I will whip about your 
	infamy manu cita. A gig of a cuckold's horn.

Costard	An I had but one penny in the world, thou shouldst have it to 
	buy gingerbread. Hold, there is the very remuneration I had 
	of thy master, thou halfpenny purse of wit, thou pigeon-egg 
	of discretion. O, an the heavens were so pleased that thou 
	wert but my bastard, what a joyful father wouldst thou make 
	me. Go to; thou hast it ad dunghill, at the fingers' ends, as 
	they say.

Holofernes	O, I smell false Latin: 'dunghill' for unguem.

Armado	Arts-man, preambulate; we will be singled from the barbarous. 
	Do you not educate youth at the charge-house on the top of 
	the mountain?

Holofernes	Or mons, the hill.

Armado	At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain.

Holofernes	I do, sans question.

Armado	Sir, it is the king's most sweet pleasure and affection to 
	congratulate the princess at her pavilion in the posteriors 
	of this day, which the rude multitude call the afternoon.

Holofernes	The posterior of the day, most generous sir, is liable, 
	congruent, and measurable for the afternoon. The word is well 
	culled, chose, sweet and apt, I do assure you, sir, I do 
	assure.

Armado	Sir, the king is a noble gentleman, and my familiar, I do 
	assure ye, very good friend. For what is inward between us, 
	let it pass. I do beseech thee, remember thy courtesy; I 
	beseech thee, apparel thy head. And among other importunate 
	and most serious designs, and of great import indeed, too - 
	but let that pass, for I must tell thee, it will please his 
	grace, by the world, sometime to lean upon my poor shoulder, 
	and with his royal finger thus dally with my excrement, with 
	my mustachio - but, sweet heart, let that pass. By the world, 
	I recount no fable. Some certain special honours it pleaseth 
	his greatness to impart to Armado, a soldier, a man of 
	travel, that hath seen the world - but let that pass. The 
	very all of all is - but, sweet heart, I do implore secrecy - 
	that the king would have me present the princess, sweet 
	chuck, with some delightful ostentation, or show, or pageant, 
	or antic, or firework. Now, understanding that the curate and 
	your sweet self are good at such eruptions and sudden 
	breaking out of mirth, as it were, I have acquainted you 
	withal, to the end to crave your assistance.

Holofernes	Sir, you shall present before her the Nine Worthies. Sir 
	Nathaniel, as concerning some entertainment of time, some 
	show in the posterior of this day, to be rendered by our 
	assistance, the king's command, and this most gallant, 
	illustrate, and learned gentleman, before the princess - I 
	say none so fit as to present the Nine Worthies.

Nathaniel	Where will you find men worthy enough to present them?

Holofernes	Joshua, yourself; myself or this gallant gentleman, Judas 
	Maccabaeus; this swain, because of his great limb or joint, 
	shall pass Pompey the Great; the page, Hercules-

Armado	Pardon, sir; error! - he is not quantity enough for that 
	Worthy's thumb; he is not so big as the end of his club.

Holofernes	Shall I have audience? He shall present Hercules in minority: 
	his enter and exit shall be strangling a snake; and I will 
	have an apology for that purpose.

Moth	An excellent device! So, if any of the audience hiss, you may 
	cry "Well done, Hercules! Now thou crushest the snake." That 
	is the way to make an offence gracious, though few have the 
	grace to do it.

Armado	For the rest of the Worthies?

Holofernes	I will play three myself.

Moth	Thrice-worthy gentleman!

Armado	Shall I tell you a thing?

Holofernes	We attend.

Armado	We will have, if this fadge not, an antic. I beseech you, 
	follow.

Holofernes	Via, goodman Dull! Thou hast spoken no word all this while.

Dull	Nor understand none neither, sir.

Holofernes	Allons! We will employ thee.

Dull	I'll make one in a dance, or so; or I will play on the tabor 
	to the Worthies, and let them dance the hay.

Holofernes	Most dull, honest Dull. To our sport, away!
															[Exeunt.
