Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE, 1st MERCHANT, and DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.

1st Merchant	Therefore give out you are of Epidamnum,
	Lest that your goods too soon be confiscate.
	This very day a Syracusian merchant
	Is apprehended for arrival here,
	And, not being able to buy out his life,
	According to the statute of the town
	Dies ere the weary sun set in the west.
	There is your money that I had to keep.

Antipholus
of Syracuse	[To DROMIO.] Go, bear it to the Centaur, where we host,
	And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee.
	Within this hour it will be dinner-time;
	Till that I'll view the manners of the town,
	Peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings,
	And then return and sleep within mine inn;
	For with long travel I am stiff and weary.
	Get thee away.

Dromio
of Syracuse	Many a man would take you at your word,
	And go indeed, having so good a mean.
												[Exit.
Antipholus
of Syracuse	A trusty villain, sir, that very oft,
	When I am dull with care and melancholy,
	Lightens my humour with his merry jests.
	What, will you walk with me about the town,
	And then go to my inn and dine with me?

1st Merchant	I am invited, sir, to certain merchants,
	Of whom I hope to make much benefit;
	I crave your pardon. Soon at five o'clock,
	Please you, I'll meet with you upon the mart,
	And afterward consort you till bedtime.
	My present business calls me from you now.

Antipholus
of Syracuse	Farewell till then. I will go lose myself,
	And wander up and down to view the city.

1st Merchant	Sir, I commend you to your own content.
												[Exit.
Antipholus
of Syracuse	He that commends me to mine own content
	Commends me to the thing I cannot get.
	I to the world am like a drop of water
	That in the ocean seeks another drop,
	Who, falling there to find his fellow forth,
	Unseen, inquisitive, confounds himself.
	So I, to find a mother and a brother,
	In quest of them, unhappy, lose myself.

                         Enter DROMIO OF EPHESUS.

	Here comes the almanac of my true date.
	What now? How chance thou art returned so soon?

Dromio
of Ephesus	Returned so soon? - rather approached too late:
	The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit;
	The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell-
	My mistress made it one upon my cheek.
	She is so hot because the meat is cold;
	The meat is cold because you come not home;
	You come not home because you have no stomach;
	You have no stomach, having broke your fast;
	But we that know what 'tis to fast and pray
	Are penitent for your default today.

Antipholus
of Syracuse	Stop in your wind, sir. Tell me this, I pray:
	Where have you left the money that I gave you?

Dromio
of Ephesus	O, sixpence that I had o' Wednesday last
	To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper.
	The saddler had it, sir; I kept it not.

Antipholus
of Syracuse	I am not in a sportive humour now;
	Tell me, and dally not, where is the money?
	We being strangers here, how dar'st thou trust
	So great a charge from thine own custody?

Dromio
of Ephesus	I pray you jest, sir, as you sit at dinner.
	I from my mistress come to you in post;
	If I return I shall be post indeed,
	For she will scour your fault upon my pate.
	Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your clock,
	And strike you home without a messenger.

Antipholus
of Syracuse	Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of season;
	Reserve them till a merrier hour than this.
	Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee?

Dromio
of Ephesus	To me, sir? Why, you gave no gold to me.

Antipholus
of Syracuse	Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness,
	And tell me how thou hast disposed thy charge.

Dromio
of Ephesus	My charge was but to fetch you from the mart
	Home to your house, the Phoenix, sir, to dinner.
	My mistress and her sister stays for you.

Antipholus
of Syracuse	Now, as I am a Christian, answer me
	In what safe place you have bestowed my money,
	Or I shall break that merry sconce of yours
	That stands on tricks when I am undisposed.
	Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me?

Dromio
of Ephesus	I have some marks of yours upon my pate,
	Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders,
	But not a thousand marks between you both.
	If I should pay your worship those again,
	Perchance you will not bear them patiently.

Antipholus
of Syracuse	Thy mistress' marks? What mistress, slave, hast thou?

Dromio
of Ephesus	Your worship's wife, my mistress at the Phoenix;
	She that doth fast till you come home to dinner,
	And prays that you will hie you home to dinner.

Antipholus
of Syracuse	What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face,
	Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave.
												[Beats DROMIO.
Dromio
of Ephesus	What mean you, sir? For God's sake hold your hands!
	Nay, an you will not, sir, I'll take my heels.
												[Exit.
Antipholus
of Syracuse	Upon my life, by some device or other
	The villain is o'erraught of all my money.
	They say this town is full of cozenage,
	As nimble jugglers that deceive the eye,
	Dark-working sorcerers that change the mind,
	Soul-killing witches that deform the body,
	Disguisd cheaters, prating mountebanks,
	And many suchlike liberties of sin.
	If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner.
	I'll to the Centaur to go seek this slave;
	I greatly fear my money is not safe.
												[Exit.
