A Hall in Petruchio's Country House.
 Enter GRUMIO.

Grumio	Fie, fie on all tired jades, on all mad masters, and all 
	foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? Was ever man so rayed? 
	Was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and 
	they are coming after to warm them. Now, were I not a little 
	pot and soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my 
	tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I 
	should come by a fire to thaw me. But I, with blowing the 
	fire, shall warm myself, for, considering the weather, a 
	taller man than I will take cold. Holla, ho! Curtis!

                              Enter CURTIS.

Curtis	Who is that calls so coldly?

Grumio	A piece of ice. If thou doubt it, thou mayst slide from my 
	shoulder to my heel with no greater a run but my head and my 
	neck. A fire, good Curtis.

Curtis	Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio?

Grumio	O ay, Curtis, ay; and therefore fire, fire; cast on no 
	water.

Curtis	Is she so hot a shrew as she's reported?

Grumio	She was, good Curtis, before this frost; but thou know'st 
	winter tames man, woman, and beast; for it hath tamed my old 
	master, and my new mistress, and myself, fellow Curtis.

Curtis	Away, you three-inch fool! I am no beast.

Grumio	Am I but three inches? Why, thy horn is a foot, and so long 
	am I at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I 
	complain on thee to our mistress, whose hand, she being now 
	at hand, thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for 
	being slow in thy hot office?

Curtis	I prithee, good Grumio, tell me how goes the world?

Grumio	A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and 
	therefore fire. Do thy duty, and have thy duty, for my 
	master and mistress are almost frozen to death.

Curtis	There's fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio, the news.

Grumio	Why, 'Jack, boy, ho, boy!' and as much news as wilt thou.

Curtis	Come, you are so full of cony-catching.

Grumio	Why, therefore fire, for I have caught extreme cold. Where's 
	the cook? Is supper ready, the house trimmed, rushes 
	strewed, cobwebs swept; the servingmen in their new fustian, 
	their white stockings, and every officer his wedding-garment 
	on? Be the Jacks fair within, the Jills fair without, the 
	carpets laid, and everything in order?

Curtis	All ready; and therefore, I pray thee, news.

Grumio	First, know my horse is tired; my master and mistress fallen 
	out.

Curtis	How?

Grumio	Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby hangs a 
	tale.

Curtis	Let's ha't, good Grumio.

Grumio	Lend thine ear.

Curtis	Here.

Grumio	[Striking him.] There.

Curtis	This 'tis to feel a tale, not to hear a tale.

Grumio	And therefore 'tis called a sensible tale; and this cuff was 
	but to knock at your ear and beseech listening. Now I begin. 
	Imprimis, we came down a foul hill, my master riding behind 
	my mistress-

Curtis	Both of one horse?

Grumio	What's that to thee?

Curtis	Why, a horse.

Grumio	Tell thou the tale. But hadst thou not crossed me thou 
	shouldst have heard how her horse fell, and she under her 
	horse; thou shouldst have heard in how miry a place, how she 
	was bemoiled; how he left her with the horse upon her, how 
	he beat me because her horse stumbled; how she waded through 
	the dirt to pluck him off me; how he swore; how she prayed, 
	that never prayed before; how I cried; how the horses ran 
	away; how her bridle was burst; how I lost my crupper; with 
	many things of worthy memory, which now shall die in 
	oblivion, and thou return unexperienced to thy grave.

Curtis	By this reckoning he is more shrew than she.

Grumio	Ay, and that thou and the proudest of you all shall find 
	when he comes home. But what talk I of this? Call forth 
	Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop, and 
	the rest. Let their heads be slickly combed, their blue 
	coats brushed, and their garters of an indifferent knit. Let 
	them curtsy with their left legs, and not presume to touch a 
	hair of my master's horsetail till they kiss their hands. 
	Are they all ready?

Curtis	They are.

Grumio	Call them forth.

Curtis	Do you hear? Ho! You must meet my master to countenance my 
	mistress.

Grumio	Why, she hath a face of her own.

Curtis	Who knows not that?

Grumio	Thou, it seems, that calls for company to countenance her.

Curtis	I call them forth to credit her.

Grumio	Why, she comes to borrow nothing of them.

                      Enter five or five SERVINGMEN.

Nathaniel	Welcome home, Grumio!

Philip	How now, Grumio!

Joseph	What, Grumio!

Nicholas	Fellow Grumio!

Nathaniel	How now, old lad!

Grumio	Welcome, you; how now, you; what, you; fellow, you; and thus 
	much for greeting! Now, my spruce companions, is all ready, 
	and all things neat?

Nathaniel	All things is ready. How near is our master?

Grumio	E'en at hand, alighted by this; and therefore be not - 
	Cock's passion, silence! I hear my master.

                      Enter PETRUCHIO and KATHERINA.

Petruchio	Where be these knaves? What, no man at door
	To hold my stirrup nor to take my horse?
	Where is Nathaniel, Gregory, Philip?

All Servants	Here! Here sir! Here sir!

Petruchio	Here sir, here sir, here sir, here sir!
	You loggerheaded and unpolished grooms!
	What, no attendance? No regard? No duty?
	Where is the foolish knave I sent before?

Grumio	Here sir, as foolish as I was before.

Petruchio	You peasant swain! You whoreson malt-horse drudge!
	Did I not bid thee meet me in the park,
	And bring along these rascal knaves with thee?

Grumio	Nathaniel's coat, sir, was not fully made,
	And Gabriel's pumps were all unpinked i'th'heel;
	There was no link to colour Peter's hat,
	And Walter's dagger was not come from sheathing;
	There were none fine but Adam, Rafe, and Gregory;
	The rest were ragged, old, and beggarly;
	Yet, as they are, here are they come to meet you.

Petruchio	Go, rascals; go, and fetch my supper in.
														[Exeunt SERVINGMEN.

	[Sings.]	Where is the life that late I led?
			Where are those-

	Sit down, Kate, and welcome. Food, food, food, food!

                    Re-enter SERVINGMEN, with supper.

	Why, when, I say? Nay, good sweet Kate, be merry.
	Off with my boots, you rogues, you villains! When?

	[Sings.]	It was the friar of orders grey,
			As he forth walkd on his way-

	Out, you rogue! You pluck my foot awry.
														[Strikes him.
	Take that, and mend the plucking-off the other.
	Be merry, Kate. Some water here! What ho!

                      Enter a SERVINGMAN with water.

	Where's my spaniel Troilus? Sirrah, get you hence
	And bid my cousin Ferdinand come hither.
	One, Kate, that you must kiss and be acquainted with.
	Where are my slippers? Shall I have some water?
	Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily.
														[SERVINGMAN drops water.
	You whoreson villain, will you let it fall?
														[Strikes him.
Katherina	Patience, I pray you; 'twas a fault unwilling.

Petruchio	A whoreson beetle-headed, flap-eared knave!
	Come, Kate, sit down; I know you have a stomach.
	Will you give thanks, sweet Kate, or else shall I?
	What's this? Mutton?

1st Servant					Ay.

Petruchio						Who brought it?

Peter												I.

Petruchio	'Tis burnt; and so is all the meat.
	What dogs are these! Where is the rascal cook?
	How durst you, villains, bring it from the dresser
	And serve it thus to me that love it not?
	There, take it to you, trenchers, cups, and all.
							  [Throws the food and dishes at them.
	You heedless joltheads and unmannered slaves!
	What, do you grumble? I'll be with you straight.
														[Exeunt SERVINGMEN.

Katherina	I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet;
	The meat was well if you were so contented.

Petruchio	I tell thee, Kate, 'twas burnt and dried away,
	And I expressly am forbid to touch it,
	For it engenders choler, planteth anger,
	And better 'twere that both of us did fast,
	Since, of ourselves, ourselves are choleric,
	Than feed it with such overroasted flesh.
	Be patient; tomorrow't shall be mended,
	And for this night we'll fast for company.
	Come, I will bring thee to thy bridal chamber.
														[Exeunt.

                     Re-enter SERVINGMEN, severally.

Nathaniel	Peter, didst ever see the like?

Peter	He kills her in her own humour.

                             Re-enter CURTIS.

Grumio	Where is he?

Curtis	In her chamber, making a sermon of continency to her,
	And rails, and swears, and rates, that she, poor soul,
	Knows not which way to stand, to look, to speak,
	And sits as one new-risen from a dream.
	Away, away, for he is coming hither!
														[Exeunt.
                           Re-enter PETRUCHIO.

Petruchio	Thus have I politicly begun my reign,
	And 'tis my hope to end successfully.
	My falcon now is sharp and passing empty,
	And till she stoop she must not be full-gorged,
	For then she never looks upon her lure.
	Another way I have to man my haggard,
	To make her come and know her keeper's call,
	That is, to watch her, as we watch these kites
	That bate and beat and will not be obedient.
	She ate no meat today, nor none shall eat.
	Last night she slept not, nor tonight she shall not.
	As with the meat, some undeservd fault
	I'll find about the making of the bed,
	And here I'll fling the pillow, there the bolster,
	This way the coverlet, another way the sheets;
	Ay, and amid this hurly I intend
	That all is done in reverend care of her;
	And in conclusion she shall watch all night;
	And if she chance to nod I'll rail and brawl,
	And with the clamour keep her still awake.
	This is a way to kill a wife with kindness;
	And thus I'll curb her mad and headstrong humour.
	He that knows better how to tame a shrew,
	Now let him speak: - 'tis charity to show.
														[Exit.
