Milan. A Street.
 Enter SPEED, and LAUNCE with his dog Crab, meeting.

Speed	Launce, by mine honesty, welcome to Padua.

Launce	Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not welcome. I 
	reckon this always: that a man is never undone till he be 
	hanged, nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot 
	be paid and the hostess say 'Welcome'.

Speed	Come on, you madcap, I'll to the alehouse with you 
	presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt 
	have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy 
	master part with Madam Julia?

Launce	Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very 
	fairly in jest.

Speed	But shall she marry him?

Launce	No.

Speed	How then? Shall he marry her?

Launce	No, neither.

Speed	What, are they broken?

Launce	No, they are both as whole as a fish.

Speed	Why then, how stands the matter with them?

Launce	Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it stands well 
	with her.

Speed	What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.

Launce	What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My staff 
	understands me.

Speed	What thou sayst?

Launce	Ay, and what I do too. Look thee, I'll but lean, and my 
	staff understands me.

Speed	It stands under thee, indeed.

Launce	Why, stand under and under stand is all one.

Speed	But tell me true, will't be a match?

Launce	Ask my dog. If he say 'ay', it will; if he say 'no', it 
	will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.

Speed	The conclusion is, then, that it will.

Launce	Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a 
	parable.

Speed	'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how sayst thou 
	that my master is become a notable lover?

Launce	I never knew him otherwise.

Speed	Than how?

Launce	A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.

Speed	Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistak'st me.

Launce	Why, fool, I meant not thee, I meant thy master.

Speed	I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.

Launce	Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself in 
	love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse; if not, 
	thou art a Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a 
	Christian.

Speed	Why?
Launce	Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to go to 
	the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?

Speed	At thy service.
												[Exeunt.
