Gloucestershire. Shallow's Orchard.
 A table set out.
 Enter FALSTAFF, SHALLOW, SILENCE, DAVY, BARDOLPH, and PAGE.

Shallow	Nay, you shall see my orchard, where, in an arbour, we 
	will eat a last year's pippin of mine own graffing, with a 
	dish of caraways, and so forth - come, cousin Silence - 
	and then to bed.

Falstaff	'Fore God, you have here a goodly dwelling, and a rich.

Shallow	Barren, barren, barren; beggars all, beggars all, Sir John 
	- marry, good air. Spread, Davy, spread, Davy. Well said, 
	Davy.

Falstaff	This Davy serves you for good uses: he is your servingman 
	and your husband.

Shallow	A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good varlet, Sir John 
	- by the mass, I have drunk too much sack at supper - a 
	good varlet. Now sit down, now sit down. Come, cousin.

Silence	Ah, sirrah, quoth-a, we shall

	[Sings.]	"Do nothing but eat and make good cheer,
				And praise God for the merry year,
				When flesh is cheap and females dear,
				And lusty lads roam here and there
					So merrily,
				And ever among so merrily."

Falstaff	There's a merry heart, good Master Silence! I'll give you 
	a health for that anon.

Shallow	Give Master Bardolph some wine, Davy.

Davy	Sweet sir, sit - I'll be with you anon; most sweet sir, 
	sit. Master page, good master page, sit. Proface! What you 
	want in meat we'll have in drink; but you must bear - the 
	heart's all.
													[Exit.

Shallow	Be merry, Master Bardolph; [To PAGE.] and my little 
	soldier there, be merry.

Silence	[Sings.]	"Be merry, be merry, my wife has all;
				For women are shrews, both short and tall.
				'Tis merry in hall when beards wags all,
					And welcome merry Shrovetide!"

	Be merry, be merry.

Falstaff	I did not think Master Silence had been a man of this 
	mettle.

Silence	Who, I? I have been merry twice and once ere now.

                              Re-enter DAVY.

Davy	[To BARDOLPH.] There's a dish of leather-coats for you.

Shallow	Davy!

Davy	Your worship? I'll be with you straight. [To BARDOLPH.] A 
	cup of wine, sir?

Silence	[Sings.] "A cup of wine that's brisk and fine,
				And drink unto thee, leman mine;
					And a merry heart lives long-a."

Falstaff	Well said, Master Silence.

Silence	And we shall be merry, now comes in the sweet o'th' night.

Falstaff	Health and long life to you, Master Silence.

Silence	[Sings.] "Fill the cup, and let it come,
				I'll pledge you a mile to th' bottom."

Shallow	Honest Bardolph, welcome! If thou want'st anything and 
	wilt not call, beshrew thy heart. [To PAGE.] Welcome, my 
	little tiny thief, and welcome indeed, too! I'll drink to 
	Master Bardolph, and to all the cavalieros about London.

Davy	I hope to see London once ere I die.

Bardolph	And I might see you there, Davy - 

Shallow	By the mass, you'll crack a quart together, ha! - will you 
	not, Master Bardolph?

Bardolph	Yea, sir, in a pottle-pot.

Shallow	By God's-liggens, I thank thee; the knave will stick by 
	thee, I can assure thee that. A' will not out, a'; 'tis 
	true-bred!

Bardolph	And I'll stick by him, sir.

Shallow	Why, there spoke a king. Lack nothing: be merry!
													[Knocking within.
	Look who's at door there, ho! Who knocks?
													[Exit DAVY.

Falstaff	[To SILENCE, who drinks a bumper.] Why, now you have done 
	me right.

Silence	[Sings.] "Do me right,
				And dub me knight:
					Samingo."

	Is't not so?

Falstaff	'Tis so.

Silence	Is't so? Why then, say an old man can do somewhat.

                              Re-enter DAVY.

Davy	And't please your worship, there's one Pistol come from 
	the court with news.

Falstaff	From the court? Let him come in.

                              Enter PISTOL.

	How now, Pistol?

Pistol	Sir John, God save you!

Falstaff	What wind blew you hither, Pistol?

Pistol	Not the ill wind which blows no man to good. Sweet knight, 
	thou art now one of the greatest men in this realm.

Silence	Byrlady, I think a' be, but goodman Puff of Barson.

Pistol	Puff?
	Puff i'thy teeth, most recreant coward base!
	Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend,
	And helter-skelter have I rode to thee,
	And tidings do I bring, and lucky joys,
	And golden times, and happy news of price.

Falstaff	I pray thee now deliver them like a man of this world.

Pistol	A foutre for the world and worldlings base!
	I speak of Africa and golden joys.

Falstaff	O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news?
	Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.

Silence	[Sings.] "And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John."

Pistol	Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons?
	And shall good news be baffled?
	Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies' lap.

Shallow	Honest gentleman, I know not your breeding.

Pistol	Why then, lament therefor.

Shallow	Give me pardon, sir. If, sir, you come with news from the 
	court, I take it there's but two ways: either to utter 
	them or conceal them. I am, sir, under the king in some 
	authority.

Pistol	Under which king, Bezonian? Speak, or die.

Shallow	Under King Harry.

Pistol						Harry the Fourth, or Fifth?

Shallow	Harry the Fourth.

Pistol					A foutre for thine office!
	Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is king:
	Harry the Fifth's the man. I speak the truth.
	When Pistol lies, do this, [Gesturing.] and fig me like
	The bragging Spaniard.

Falstaff							What, is the old king dead?

Pistol	As nail in door. The things I speak are just.

Falstaff	Away, Bardolph, saddle my horse! Master Robert Shallow, 
	choose what office thou wilt in the land, 'tis thine. 
	Pistol, I will double-charge thee with dignities.

Bardolph	O joyful day!
	I would not take a knighthood for my fortune.

Pistol	What, I do bring good news?

Falstaff	Carry Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow - my Lord 
	Shallow - be what thou wilt, I am fortune's steward. Get 
	on thy boots, we'll ride all night. O sweet Pistol! Away, 
	Bardolph!
													[Exit BARDOLPH.
	Come, Pistol, utter more to me; and withal devise 
	something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master Shallow! 
	I know the young king is sick for me. Let us take any 
	man's horses: the laws of England are at my commandment. 
	Blessed are they that have been my friends, and woe to my 
	Lord Chief Justice.

Pistol	Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also!
	"Where is the life that late I led?" say they;
	Why, here it is -  welcome these pleasant days!
													[Exeunt.
