London. The Prince's Lodging.
 Enter PRINCE OF WALES and SIR JOHN FALSTAFF.

Falstaff	Now, Hal, what time of day is it, lad?

Prince Henry	Thou art so fat-witted with drinking of old sack, and 
	unbuttoning thee after supper, and sleeping upon benches 
	after noon, that thou hast forgotten to demand that truly 
	which thou wouldst truly know. What a devil hast thou to 
	do with the time of the day? Unless hours were cups of 
	sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues of bawds, 
	and dials the signs of leaping-houses, and the blessed sun 
	himself a fair hot wench in flame-coloured taffeta, I see 
	no reason why thou shouldst be so superfluous to demand 
	the time of the day.

Falstaff	Indeed you come near me now, Hal, for we that take purses 
	go by the moon and the seven stars, and not "by Phoebus, 
	he, that wand'ring knight so fair". And I prithee, sweet 
	wag, when thou art a king, as God save thy grace - majesty 
	I should say, for grace thou wilt have none-

Prince Henry	What, none?

Falstaff	No, by my troth, not so much as will serve to be prologue 
	to an egg and butter.

Prince Henry	Well, how then? Come, roundly, roundly.

Falstaff	Marry then, sweet wag, when thou art king let not us that 
	are squires of the night's body be called thieves of the 
	day's beauty: let us be Diana's foresters, gentlemen of 
	the shade, minions of the moon; and let men say we be men 
	of good government, being governed, as the sea is, by our 
	noble and chaste mistress the moon, under whose 
	countenance we steal.

Prince Henry	Thou sayst well, and it holds well too; for the fortune of 
	us that are the moon's men doth ebb and flow like the sea, 
	being governed as the sea is by the moon. As for proof 
	now: a purse of gold most resolutely snatched on Monday 
	night, and most dissolutely spent on Tuesday morning; got 
	with swearing "Lay by!", and spent with crying "Bring 
	in!"; now in as low an ebb as the foot of the ladder, and 
	by and by in as high a flow as the ridge of the gallows.

Falstaff	By the Lord, thou sayst true, lad - and is not my hostess 
	of the tavern a most sweet wench?

Prince Henry	As the honey of Hybla, my old lad of the castle; and is 
	not a buff jerkin a most sweet robe of durance?

Falstaff	How now, how now, mad wag? What, in thy quips and thy 
	quiddities? What a plague have I to do with a buff jerkin?

Prince Henry	Why, what a pox have I to do with my hostess of the 
	tavern?

Falstaff	Well, thou hast called her to a reckoning many a time and 
	oft.

Prince Henry	Did I ever call for thee to pay thy part?

Falstaff	No, I'll give thee thy due, thou hast paid all there.

Prince Henry	Yea, and elsewhere, so far as my coin would stretch; and 
	where it would not I have used my credit.

Falstaff	Yea, and so used it that were it not here apparent that 
	thou art heir apparent - but I prithee, sweet wag, shall 
	there be gallows standing in England when thou art king? 
	And resolution thus fubbed as it is with the rusty curb of 
	old father Antic the law? Do not thou when thou art king 
	hang a thief.

Prince Henry	No, thou shalt.

Falstaff	Shall I? O rare! By the Lord, I'll be a brave judge.

Prince Henry	Thou judgest false already. I mean thou shalt have the 
	hanging of the thieves, and so become a rare hangman.

Falstaff	Well, Hal, well; and in some sort it jumps with my humour 
	as well as waiting in the court, I can tell you.

Prince Henry	For obtaining of suits?

Falstaff	Yea, for obtaining of suits, whereof the hangman hath no 
	lean wardrobe. 'Sblood, I am as melancholy as a gib-cat or 
	a lugged bear.

Prince Henry	Or an old lion, or a lover's lute.

Falstaff	Yea, or the drone of a Lincolnshire bagpipe.

Prince Henry	What sayst thou to a hare, or the melancholy of Moorditch?

Falstaff	Thou hast the most unsavoury similes, and art indeed the 
	most comparative, rascalliest, sweet young prince. But, 
	Hal, I prithee trouble me no more with vanity. I would to 
	God thou and I knew where a commodity of good names were 
	to be bought. An old lord of the Council rated me the 
	other day in the street about you, sir, but I marked him 
	not; and yet he talked very wisely, but I regarded him 
	not; and yet he talked wisely, and in the street too.

Prince Henry	Thou didst well, for wisdom cries out in the streets, and 
	no man regards it.

Falstaff	O, thou hast damnable iteration, and art indeed able to 
	corrupt a saint. Thou hast done much harm upon me, Hal, 
	God forgive thee for it. Before I knew thee, Hal, I knew 
	nothing; and now am I, if a man should speak truly, little 
	better than one of the wicked. I must give over this life, 
	and I will give it over - by the Lord, an I do not I am a 
	villain! I'll be damned for never a king's son in 
	Christendom.

Prince Henry	Where shall we take a purse tomorrow, Jack?

Falstaff	Zounds, where thou wilt, lad! I'll make one; an I do not, 
	call me villain and baffle me.

Prince Henry	I see a good amendment of life in thee, from praying to 
	purse-taking.

Falstaff	Why, Hal, 'tis my vocation, Hal; 'tis no sin for a man to 
	labour in his vocation.

                               Enter POINS.

	Poins! Now shall we know if Gadshill have set a match. O, 
	if men were to be saved by merit, what hole in hell were 
	hot enough for him? This is the most omnipotent villain 
	that ever cried "Stand!" to a true man.

Prince Henry	Good morrow, Ned.

Poins	Good morrow, sweet Hal. What says Monsieur Remorse? What 
	says Sir John Sack-and-Sugar? Jack, how agrees the devil 
	and thee about thy soul, that thou soldest him on Good 
	Friday last for a cup of Madeira and a cold capon's leg?

Prince Henry	Sir John stands to his word, the devil shall have his 
	bargain; for he was never yet a breaker of proverbs: he 
	will give the devil his due.

Poins	Then art thou damned for keeping thy word with the devil.

Prince Henry	Else he had been damned for cozening the devil.

Poins	But my lads, my lads, tomorrow morning, by four o'clock 
	early at Gads Hill! There are pilgrims going to Canterbury 
	with rich offerings, and traders riding to London with fat 
	purses. I have vizards for you all; you have horses for 
	yourselves; Gadshill lies tonight in Rochester; I have 
	bespoke supper tomorrow night in Eastcheap: we may do it 
	as secure as sleep. If you will go, I will stuff your 
	purses full of crowns; if you will not, tarry at home and 
	be hanged.

Falstaff	Hear ye, Yedward: if I tarry at home and go not, I'll hang 
	you for going.

Poins	You will, chops?

Falstaff	Hal, wilt thou make one?

Prince Henry	Who, I rob? I a thief? Not I, by my faith.

Falstaff	There's neither honesty, manhood, nor good fellowship in 
	thee, nor thou camest not of the blood royal if thou 
	darest not stand for ten shillings.

Prince Henry	Well then, once in my days I'll be a madcap.

Falstaff	Why, that's well said.

Prince Henry	Well, come what will, I'll tarry at home.

Falstaff	By the Lord, I'll be a traitor then, when thou art king.

Prince Henry	I care not.

Poins	Sir John, I prithee leave the Prince and me alone. I will 
	lay him down such reasons for this adventure that he shall 
	go.

Falstaff	Well, God give thee the spirit of persuasion and him the 
	ears of profiting, that what thou speakest may move, and 
	what he hears may be believed, that the true prince may, 
	for recreation sake, prove a false thief, for the poor 
	abuses of the time want countenance. Farewell, you shall 
	find me in Eastcheap.

Prince Henry	Farewell, the latter spring! Farewell, All-hallown summer!
												[Exit FALSTAFF.

Poins	Now, my good sweet honey lord, ride with us tomorrow. I 
	have a jest to execute that I cannot manage alone. 
	Falstaff, Bardolph, Peto, and Gadshill shall rob those men 
	that we have already waylaid - yourself and I will not be 
	there - and when they have the booty, if you and I do not 
	rob them, cut this head off from my shoulders.

Prince Henry	How shall we part with them in setting forth?

Poins	Why, we will set forth before or after them, and appoint 
	them a place of meeting, wherein it is at our pleasure to 
	fail; and then will they adventure upon the exploit 
	themselves, which they shall have no sooner achieved but 
	we'll set upon them.

Prince Henry	Yea, but 'tis like that they will know us by our horses, 
	by our habits, and by every other appointment, to be 
	ourselves.

Poins	Tut, our horses they shall not see, I'll tie them in the 
	wood; our vizards we will change after we leave them; and, 
	sirrah, I have cases of buckram for the nonce, to immask 
	our noted outward garments.

Prince Henry	Yea, but I doubt they will be too hard for us.

Poins	Well, for two of them, I know them to be as true-bred 
	cowards as ever turned back; and for the third, if he 
	fight longer than he sees reason, I'll forswear arms. The 
	virtue of this jest will be the incomprehensible lies that 
	this same fat rogue will tell us when we meet at supper: 
	how thirty at least he fought with, what wards, what 
	blows, what extremities he endured; and in the reproof of 
	this lives the jest.

Prince Henry	Well, I'll go with thee. Provide us all things necessary 
	and meet me tomorrow night in Eastcheap; there I'll sup. 
	Farewell.

Poins	Farewell, my lord.
												[Exit.

Prince Henry	I know you all, and will awhile uphold
	The unyoked humour of your idleness.
	Yet herein will I imitate the sun,
	Who doth permit the base contagious clouds
	To smother up his beauty from the world,
	That, when he please again to be himself,
	Being wanted, he may be more wondered at
	By breaking through the foul and ugly mists
	Of vapours that did seem to strangle him.
	If all the year were playing holidays,
	To sport would be as tedious as to work;
	But when they seldom come, they wished-for come,
	And nothing pleaseth but rare accidents.
	So when this loose behaviour I throw off
	And pay the debt I never promisd,
	By how much better than my word I am,
	By so much shall I falsify men's hopes;
	And like bright metal on a sullen ground,
	My reformation, glitt'ring o'er my fault,
	Shall show more goodly and attract more eyes
	Than that which hath no foil to set it off.
	I'll so offend to make offence a skill,
	Redeeming time when men think least I will.
												[Exit.
