A Room of State in the Palace.
 Enter KING JOHN, QUEEN ELEANOR, PEMBROKE, ESSEX,
 SALISBURY, with CHATILLON of France.

King John	Now say, Chatillon, what would France with us?

Chatillon	Thus, after greeting, speaks the King of France
	In my behaviour to the majesty,
	The borrowed majesty, of England here.

Eleanor	A strange beginning - "borrowed majesty"!

King John	Silence, good mother; hear the embassy.

Chatillon	Philip of France, in right and true behalf
	Of thy deceasd brother Geoffrey's son,
	Arthur Plantagenet, lays most lawful claim
	To this fair island and the territories,
	To Ireland, Poitiers, Anjou, Touraine, Maine,
	Desiring thee to lay aside the sword
	Which sways usurpingly these several titles,
	And put the same into young Arthur's hand,
	Thy nephew and right royal sovereign.

King John	What follows if we disallow of this?

Chatillon	The proud control of fierce and bloody war,
	To enforce these rights so forcibly withheld.

King John	Here have we war for war and blood for blood,
	Controlment for controlment. So answer France.

Chatillon	Then take my king's defiance from my mouth,
	The furthest limit of my embassy.

King John	Bear mine to him, and so depart in peace.
	Be thou as lightning in the eyes of France;
	For ere thou canst report I will be there;
	The thunder of my cannon shall be heard.
	So, hence! Be thou the trumpet of our wrath
	And sullen presage of your own decay.
	An honourable conduct let him have,
	Pembroke, look to't. Farewell, Chatillon.
									  [Exeunt CHATILLON and PEMBROKE.

Eleanor	What now, my son! Have I not ever said
	How that ambitious Constance would not cease
	Till she had kindled France and all the world
	Upon the right and party of her son?
	This might have been prevented and made whole
	With very easy arguments of love,
	Which now the manage of two kingdoms must
	With fearful-bloody issue arbitrate.

King John	Our strong possession and our right for us.

Eleanor	Your strong possession much more than your right,
	Or else it must go wrong with you and me.
	So much my conscience whispers in your ear,
	Which none but heaven, and you and I, shall hear.

                 Enter a SHERIFF, who whispers to ESSEX.

Essex	My liege, here is the strangest controversy
	Come from the country to be judged by you
	That e'er I heard. Shall I produce the men?

King John	Let them approach.
													[Exit SHERIFF.
	Our abbeys and our priories shall pay
	This expeditious charge.

        Enter ROBERT FALCONBRIDGE and PHILIP, his bastard brother.

								What men are you?

Bastard	Your faithful subject I, a gentleman
	Born in Northamptonshire, and eldest son,
	As I suppose, to Robert Falconbridge,
	A soldier, by the honour-giving hand
	Of Coeur-de-lion knighted in the field.

King John	What art thou?

Falconbridge	The son and heir to that same Falconbridge.

King John	Is that the elder, and art thou the heir?
	You came not of one mother then, it seems.

Bastard	Most certain of one mother, mighty king,
	That is well known; and, as I think, one father.
	But for the certain knowledge of that truth
	I put you o'er to heaven and to my mother;
	Of that I doubt, as all men's children may.

Eleanor	Out on thee, rude man! Thou dost shame thy mother,
	And wound her honour with this diffidence.

Bastard	I, madam? No, I have no reason for it;
	That is my brother's plea, and none of mine,
	The which if he can prove, 'a pops me out
	At least from fair five hundred pound a year.
	Heaven guard my mother's honour, and my land!

King John	A good blunt fellow. Why, being younger born,
	Doth he lay claim to thine inheritance?

Bastard	I know not why, except to get the land;
	But once he slandered me with bastardy.
	But whe'er I be as true begot or no,
	That still I lay upon my mother's head;
	But that I am as well begot, my liege,
	- Fair fall the bones that took the pains for me!-
	Compare our faces and be judge yourself.
	If old Sir Robert did beget us both
	And were our father, and this son like him,
	O old Sir Robert, father, on my knee
	I give heaven thanks I was not like to thee.

King John	Why, what a madcap hath heaven lent us here.

Eleanor	He hath a trick of Coeur-de-lion's face;
	The accent of his tongue affecteth him.
	Do you not read some tokens of my son
	In the large composition of this man?

King John	Mine eye hath well examind his parts,
	And finds them perfect Richard.
				[To FALCONBRIDGE.]	Sirrah, speak.
	What doth move you to claim your brother's land?

Bastard	Because he hath a half-face like my father.
	With half that face would he have all my land:
	A half-faced groat five hundred pound a year!

Falconbridge	My gracious liege, when that my father lived,
	Your brother did employ my father much-

Bastard	Well sir, by this you cannot get my land:
	Your tale must be how he employed my mother.

Falconbridge	And once dispatched him in an embassy
	To Germany, there with the emperor
	To treat of high affairs touching that time.
	Th' advantage of his absence took the king,
	And in the meantime sojourned at my father's,
	Where how he did prevail I shame to speak.
	But truth is truth: large lengths of seas and shores
	Between my father and my mother lay,
	As I have heard my father speak himself,
	When this same lusty gentleman was got.
	Upon his death-bed he by will bequeathed
	His lands to me, and took it on his death
	That this my mother's son was none of his,
	And, if he were, he came into the world
	Full fourteen weeks before the course of time.
	Then, good my liege, let me have what is mine,
	My father's land, as was my father's will.

King John	Sirrah, your brother is legitimate;
	Your father's wife did after wedlock bear him,
	And if she did play false, the fault was hers-
	Which fault lies on the hazards of all husbands
	That marry wives. Tell me, how if my brother,
	Who, as you say, took pains to get this son,
	Had of your father claimed this son for his?
	In sooth, good friend, your father might have kept
	This calf bred from his cow from all the world;
	In sooth he might. Then, if he were my brother's,
	My brother might not claim him, nor your father,
	Being none of his, refuse him. This concludes:
	My mother's son did get your father's heir;
	Your father's heir must have your father's land.

Falconbridge	Shall then my father's will be of no force
	To dispossess that child which is not his?

Bastard	Of no more force to dispossess me, sir,
	Than was his will to get me, as I think.

Eleanor	Whether hadst thou rather be a Falconbridge,
	And like thy brother to enjoy thy land;
	Or the reputed son of Coeur-de-lion,
	Lord of thy presence, and no land beside?

Bastard	Madam, an if my brother had my shape
	And I had his, Sir Robert's his, like him;
	And if my legs were two such riding-rods,
	My arms such eel-skins stuffed, my face so thin
	That in mine ear I durst not stick a rose
	Lest men should say "Look where three-farthings goes!"
	And, to his shape, were heir to all this land,
	Would I might never stir from off this place,
	I would give it every foot to have this face;
	It would not be Sir Nob in any case.

Eleanor	I like thee well. Wilt thou forsake thy fortune,
	Bequeath thy land to him, and follow me?
	I am a soldier, and now bound to France.

Bastard	Brother, take you my land, I'll take my chance.
	Your face hath got five hundred pound a year,
	Yet sell your face for fivepence and 'tis dear.
	Madam, I'll follow you unto the death.

Eleanor	Nay, I would have you go before me thither.

Bastard	Our country manners give our betters way.

King John	What is thy name?

Bastard	Philip, my liege, so is my name begun;
	Philip, good old Sir Robert's wife's eldest son.

King John	From henceforth bear his name whose form thou bearest.
	Kneel thou down Philip, but rise more great.
	[Knighting him.] Arise Sir Richard, and Plantagenet.

Bastard	Brother by th' mother's side, give me your hand;
	My father gave me honour, yours gave land.
	Now blessd be the hour, by night or day,
	When I was got, Sir Robert was away.

Eleanor	The very spirit of Plantagenet!
	I am thy grandam, Richard: call me so.

Bastard	Madam, by chance but not by truth - what though?
	Something about, a little from the right,
		In at the window, or else o'er the hatch;
	Who dares not stir by day must walk by night,
		And have is have, however men do catch.
	Near or far off, well won is still well shot,
	And I am I, howe'er I was begot.

King John	Go, Falconbridge; now hast thou thy desire:
	A landless knight makes thee a landed squire.
	Come, madam, and come, Richard, we must speed
	For France, for France, for it is more than need.

Bastard	Brother, adieu; good fortune come to thee!
	For thou wast got i'th' way of honesty.
													[Exeunt all but BASTARD.
	A foot of honour better than I was,
	But many a many foot of land the worse.
	Well, now can I make any Joan a lady.
	"Good-den, Sir Richard" - "God-a-mercy, fellow!"
	And if his name be George, I'll call him Peter,
	For new-made honour doth forget men's names;
	'Tis too respective and too sociable
	For your conversion. Now your traveller,
	He and his toothpick at my worship's mess,
	And when my knightly stomach is sufficed,
	Why, then I suck my teeth and catechize
	My pickd man of countries: "My dear sir,"
	Thus, leaning on mine elbow, I begin
	"I shall beseech you", that is Question now;
	And then comes Answer like an Absey book:
	"O sir," says Answer "at your best command,
	At your employment, at your service, sir".
	"No, sir," says Question "I, sweet sir, at yours."
	And so, ere Answer knows what Question would,
	Saving in dialogue of compliment,
	And talking of the Alps and Apennines,
	The Pyrenean and the river Po,
	It draws toward supper in conclusion so.
	But this is worshipful society
	And fits the mounting spirit like myself;
	For he is but a bastard to the time
	That doth not smack of observation;
	And so am I, whether I smack or no;
	And not alone in habit and device,
	Exterior form, outward accoutrement,
	But from the inward motion to deliver
	Sweet, sweet, sweet poison for the age's tooth;
	Which, though I will not practise to deceive,
	Yet, to avoid deceit, I mean to learn;
	For it shall strew the footsteps of my rising.
	But who comes in such haste in riding-robes?
	What woman-post is this? Hath she no husband
	That will take pains to blow a horn before her?

                Enter LADY FALCONBRIDGE and JAMES GURNEY.

	O me, 'tis my mother! How now, good lady!
	What brings you here to court so hastily?

Lady
Falconbridge	Where is that slave, thy brother? Where is he
	That holds in chase mine honour up and down?

Bastard	My brother Robert? Old Sir Robert's son?
	Colbrand the giant, that same mighty man?
	Is it Sir Robert's son that you seek so?

Lady
Falconbridge	"Sir Robert's son"? Ay, thou unreverend boy,
	Sir Robert's son. Why scorn'st thou at Sir Robert?
	He is Sir Robert's son, and so art thou.

Bastard	James Gurney, wilt thou give us leave awhile?

Gurney	Good leave, good Philip.

Bastard								Philip? - Sparrow! James,
	There's toys abroad; anon I'll tell thee more.
													[Exit GURNEY.
	Madam, I was not old Sir Robert's son.
	Sir Robert might have eat his part in me
	Upon Good Friday and ne'er broke his fast.
	Sir Robert could do well - marry, to confess-
	Could he get me. Sir Robert could not do it:
	We know his handiwork. Therefore, good mother,
	To whom am I beholding for these limbs?
	Sir Robert never holp to make this leg.

Lady
Falconbridge	Hast thou conspird with thy brother too,
	That for thine own gain shouldst defend mine honour?
	What means this scorn, thou most untoward knave?

Bastard	Knight, knight, good mother, Basilisco-like.
	What! I am dubbed, I have it on my shoulder.
	But, mother, I am not Sir Robert's son;
	I have disclaimed Sir Robert and my land:
	Legitimation, name, and all is gone.
	Then, good my mother, let me know my father;
	Some proper man, I hope. Who was it, mother?

Lady
Falconbridge	Hast thou denied thyself a Falconbridge?

Bastard	As faithfully as I deny the devil.

Lady
Falconbridge	King Richard Coeur-de-lion was thy father.
	By long and vehement suit I was seduced
	To make room for him in my husband's bed:
	- Heaven, lay not my transgression to my charge-
	Thou art the issue of my dear offence,
	Which was so strongly urged past my defence.

Bastard	Now, by this light, were I to get again,
	Madam, I would not wish a better father.
	Some sins do bear their privilege on earth,
	And so doth yours. Your fault was not your folly.
	Needs must you lay your heart at his dispose,
	Subjected tribute to commanding love,
	Against whose fury and unmatchd force
	The aweless lion could not wage the fight,
	Nor keep his princely heart from Richard's hand.
	He that perforce robs lions of their hearts
	May easily win a woman's. Ay, my mother,
	With all my heart I thank thee for my father.
	Who lives and dares but say thou didst not well
	When I was got, I'll send his soul to hell.
	Come, lady, I will show thee to my kin;
		And they shall say, when Richard me begot,
	If thou hadst said him nay, it had been sin.
		Who says it was, he lies - I say 'twas not.
													[Exeunt.
